Wahlberg & Russell to waste year of lives, millions of dollars, on "Uncharted" movie

To the surprise of few and the joy of… someone, I’m assuming… Mark Wahlberg will rejoin his “Fighter” director, David O. Russell, in the incredibly unnecessary feature film adaptation of the “Uncharted” video games. For the uninitiated, “Uncharted” is a studiously “cinematic” (hence the “incredibly unnecessary” part) “Indiana Jones” knockoff. Wahlberg will take the lead role of Nathan Drake, the least-likable video game hero outside of Leisure-Suit Larry.

For those keeping track, this will mark Wahlberg’s 3rd attempt at getting into the action-franchise rackett; following “Shooter” and “Max Payne.”

I’ve already said my piece about the relative pointlessness of filmming “Uncharted,” and I stand by my deep and bitter resentment at Nathan FUCKING Drake getting a proper movie before the nigh-endless line of more-deserving gaming icons, but at least it’s interesting casting. Drake’s monumental douchebaggery as a character comes from a “cool” obnoxiousness that’s almost the total opposite of Wahlberg’s usual near-comical earnestness – so maybe this is the first step toward making the character less hateful on the big screen.

Still not necessary, mind you, but less hateful. That’s at least a start.

26 thoughts on “Wahlberg & Russell to waste year of lives, millions of dollars, on "Uncharted" movie

  1. ZAENGO says:

    say hi you your moth- no. no, im not making that joke. im better than that, i dont have to make that joke. i need to learn to stop saying that whenever i hear mark wahlberg's name. its cheap, its done way to much as it is, its just not funny anymore. no. im not saying it. never again.

    on the subject at hand, this is probably going to suck. its gonna be like tomb raider, but you dont get to stare at angelina jolie. which is BULLSHIT. i thought uncharted was a pretty good game, but it didnt deserve half of the awards it got.


  2. Tim says:

    I'm sure I sound like a broken record at this point but I know I'm not the only one who finds it a bit odd that he calls Nathan Drake the least likable video game hero ever when we know for a fact that he played Other M. Maybe he's just wearing his Nintendo goggles a little too tight.


  3. Aaron says:

    @Tim: I agree. I actually like Nathan Drake. He never seemed obnoxious to me. Samus on the other hand was such an obnoxious bitch. I respect Bob and everything but how can he honestly defend that game? I had no problem with Nintendo trying to make her “deeper” which is what they were going for. Her flaws came from poor writing and acting.


  4. Dave says:

    @ AAron. I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about. what could possibly be objectionable about samus BSODing after seeing a ridley clone even after killing him twice. I mean, doesn't batman cry like a child every time the joker turns out to be not really dead this time?

    You seem to be suggesting that nintendo blessings and peace be upon them did something wrong. And I know that isn't happening.


  5. Dan says:

    Haven't you mentioned in the past that bad source material disassembled and reformed by a good director can turn into something really good? Mark Wahlberg is not a bad actor, but whenever I've seen him directed by David O. Russell, the result is comedic brilliance. I'm not familiar with “Uncharted,” but it sounds like the concept falls within Russell's range, and it doesn't sound like he'll have a huge fan base to be pandering to in terms of faithfulness to the game (a thorn in the side of so many video game movies).


  6. Lucas Neumann says:

    Oh you guys are so cute picking on the nintendo fanboy. Now I understand why Bob is so bitter, the world really didn't treated him nice.

    We so deserve his scorn, now we won't get our world peace…


  7. Mildra: The RPG Monk says:

    I've been of the mind that there may be a silver lining in an uncharted movie (though i'm a bit bummed that Fillon didn't get the role). specifically, this could allow writers to do all the stuff they've wanted to do for indianna jones movies without attracting the ire of indy fans. Thus, I'm spared from a massive headache. (Hey, a little optimism never hurt anyone.)

    as for the deal with Other M…… the arguments on it are getting boring, frankly. At least be creative with the nonsense.


  8. Dave says:

    @ Dan. Uncharted is sony's biggest action property. Generally the idea behind the games is to make a super sized action movie where you can do as many crazy stunts as possible because you dont' have to worry about budget or the health of the stuntman.

    So far they've taken the competing treasure hunters angle. HAWP essentially called them firefly the game. Drake is based on nathan fillion (who started a twitter campaign to get this role) and the idea was to create a more likable and relatable protagonist, who can recognize the ridiculousness of a situation and is a bit genre savvy. He's well liked among gamers, especially those of us who wanted a hero who wasn't a glowering generic shouting machine, some random military dude or a 'hilarious' talking animal/failed mascot.

    The games are also remarkable for their extraordinary use of colour, which is very rare in shooters these days.


  9. Nick says:

    We are talking about the director who made a great, original, funny and thought-provoking movie out of a Gulf War heist-comedy concept (Three Kings, in case anyone's wondering), and he and Wahlberg go great together.

    So, while I agree that it's completely unnecessary (just stick the cutscenes and some game footage on the screen and call it a CGI film… pitch it as “Pixar for grown-ups™,” meaning 'grown-ups' as 'anyone who doesn't want to admit they like Pixar movies because it's Disney…' what was I talking about?), I am holding out some faint hope for this movie being at least somewhat fun.


  10. Timothy says:


    Wasn't the whole point of his video on Other M about the fact that you actually never saw the character's thoughts and emotions prior? For all you know she was still a little shall we say emotionally affected when she killed the other two, you just never saw it.

    The box was opened and you called the cat wrong. That's pretty much all this boils down to.


  11. Dave says:

    @ Nick

    I rather think the purpose of that vid was to try and excuse one of the worst major releases to a nintendo franchise in years.

    I'm curious, are you under the impression that samus panicking like a child EVERY time she sees this thing she's killed multiple times makes the story BETTER?

    It's sloppy writing from a guy from culture with some pretty dated views on women. That's what it boils down to.


  12. Lucas Neumann says:

    Well, at least it's an improvement.

    I remember Samus being just a hot chick under an armor, in a game that offers you as the ultimate reward when you beat it by showing Samus in her undies

    And it's a nintendo game guys, while everybody back in late 90's were learning how to marry gameplay with storytelling, Nintendo was still on the business of rescuing princess by eating mushrooms or picking up the tri-force, and just now they are trying to pick up some personality for characters that are almost 30 years old… Soon enough we will have an middle-age crises Mario and a crack additct Pikachu (adimit it, pokemons on crack would be so awesome!!)


  13. Nojh says:

    I admit to finding Nathan Drake's jokes fun. I find his similarities to Indian Jones a plus for him, rather than a detraction.

    Also I'd consider The Big Hit an action film, which was one of his action comedy films. My favorite of his action films, actually, but I tend to forgive some movies if they are fun.


  14. Gray says:

    While Nathan Drake is faaaaar from my favorite character in video games, it's kind of missing the point if you criticize him for being a bland douchebag. That is kind of the point.

    Uncharted is very much a blockbuster. It's fast, flashy and adrenaline filled, it needs a protagonist who fits that sort of a game. This is the guy who “has fun saving the world”, handsome, witty and kind of a douche. He's not very deep, not necessarily likable, but he works within the context of the game, and that's why he's so popular.

    That said, I'm with you to 100% when it comes to the sheer “ungh” of an Uncharted movie being made. It's not that it's going to be terrible, seeing how Uncharted is kind of already a movie, it's probably going to work very well. It's just that the reason Uncharted has done so well is because it is a game. Had the interactive part not been there it would have been just another uninspired action flick, which is just what they are about to make. But hey! It's not like I have to go see it ^^


  15. Joe says:

    Well Bob, I have to keep in mind your A-Team review and your Intermission column on fixing James Bond: we need more action heroes who actually have fun doing their thing. Though I would have preferred Nathan Fillion, since he does snarky much better. Wahlberg's a better straight man.

    The “Indiana Jones” rip-off thing isn't a big deal. Indiana Jones itself was riffing off H. Rider Haggard and 30s pulp and serial stories–it just successfully repackaged those for modern audiences. It's not the concept, it's the execution. We've already had Tomb Raider, National Treasure, the Mummy movies, the TV “Librarian” movies and Dan Brown. What's another Jones-style adventure? It could be a decent 2-hour distraction or a tremendous flop.


  16. Clayton says:

    It's times like this where people need to realize that we don't need videogame movies to validate the medium (even if Uncharted's sales make me depressed and waaaaay too many gamers insist on whining whenever they're not playing as a one-man-army with no personality)


  17. Hyrabethian says:

    Nah, I'm with Bob on this one. I just don't like Nathan Drake either. Even though I own UC2 and really enjoy it as a “game.” The characters and the world are like a cross between Indiana Jones and the TV sitcom Friends (which I've never liked).

    At least with other PS3/360 characters like Marcus Fenix, Cole MacGrath, or Kratos, they're flawed enough to where they still manage to have some sort of personality.

    Drake is just too GQ and annoying to be likable. Although, I know for a fact girl gamers are all over him like fat 30 something film geeks on a fudge cake made to look like Xena: Warrior Princess…lol


  18. CraftyAndy says:

    Again why can't we have something like a Baldur's Gate movie (pc version mind you) Fallout (2nd or first game) or at least something that would do well with an adaptation or at least make a movie using the same characters and setting just make a new story for them like FFVII: Advant Children, say what you will about that movie at least it tried doing something other then rehashing something already done.


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