Santorum Envisions Obamapocalypse

As tweeted by Hollywood-Elsewhere, this is apparently a real Rick Santorum campaign ad:

There are moments of increasing frequency where I honest wish it were possible for Santorum to be the Republican nominee. Not only would he be more likely to lose, but what would amount to a sustained public flogging of the worthless “Christian Right” mindset that both creates and buys into nonsense like this ad would be an enormously positive – to say nothing of entertaining – development.

Maybe Not Aliens?

Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes are clearly enjoying the amount of free publicity the off-the-cuff “they’re Aliens now!” stuff has gotten their previously not-much-commented-upon TMNT reboot; otherwise there’d have been more “damage control.” But early on, BadassDigest’s Devin Faraci posited that maybe this was all a huge misunderstanding and it was really in reference to a “back to the source” take re: the original Mirage books, where the “Mutagen Ooze” that created the good guys came from T.C.R.I. Labs (T.G.R.I. in the movies, nonexistant in the show) which was actually a front for aliens called Utroms, who in turn inspired “Krang” in the animated series. Looks like he might’ve called it…

In an interview with Collider, director Johnathan Liebesman offered the following:

“Look, it’s so funny—if everyone was such a die-hard fan, they would know that the TCRI canisters where the ooze comes from.  That is alien ooze.”

Well, okay then. This still doesn’t help the broader issues – re: that Platinum Dunes is a terrible studio and Liebesman’s thus-far sole screen effort (“Titans” isn’t out yet) “Battle LA” was horrible – but it’s definitely less head-scratching. And while it’s currently en-vogue for fans to dismiss the 80s series out of hand (even though it’s demonstably impossible for everyone who says they were fans of the Mirage comics first to really have been) I’d bet good money that if the follow-up announcement is “Oh, BTW… KRANG!” the “buzz” turns around right-quick.

"Cosmopolis" teased

Below, a teaser for “Cosmopolis,” which should be chiefly regarded as the next big David Cronenberg project but will innevitably be chiefly regarded as the next desperate stab at giving Robert Pattinson a post-“Twilight” career.

Based on a Dom DeLillo novel, it follows a day in the life (and within the tormented psyche) of a rich New York go-getter. And yes, that does appear to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex attacking a Sbarro at 0:26…

Laugh It Up…

Something that’s getting old: Otherwise-insightful film writers snarking at TMNT fans for expressing any level of concern about Michael Bay’s latest tomfoolery.

I “get” it, sure – fanboys can be some of the most obnoxious, entitled dipshits on the planet; the ongoing nonsense over “Mass Effect” demonstrates as much. But in this particular case I’m not convinced its a good idea to dissmiss the supposed “red flags” being raised out of hand as just another “OH NOES MAH NOSTALGIAZ!!!1!” thing. “Fanboys” can be the canary-in-the-coalmine of pre-production under certain circumstances, and there’s more than enough precedent this time: EVERYONE poo-poo’d and snarked when “Transformers” fanboys flipped their collective shit over the early glimpses at what Bay was doing to THAT property; after all… but Chicken Little was RIGHT – “Bayformers” really WAS one of the most noxious, poisonous, anticinematic, artistically-destructive things ever to infect the popular culture…

…and those “whiny fanboys” WARNED. US. IT. WAS. GOING. TO. HAPPEN.

Maybe we oughtn’t be THIS quick to laugh it off, is all I’m positing, given the track-record of those involved. I’d also offer that its weirdly-incongruous to be doing so the same week that we’re all bending over backwards to smile and nod about treating “The Hunger Games” arriving in movie-form like the second-coming (its not, that’s all you’ll get out of me for now) because we’re all relieved that “fangirls” are psyched for something that isn’t “Twilight.” Just sayin…

"Super Best Friends Forever." Watch. Now.

Via The Mary Sue:

Warner Bros., as has been well-established, doesn’t have a fucking clue how to turn any DC Comics property that isn’t Batman into a movie and/or TV show. Fortunately, their new “DC Nation” animation bloc will continue their proud tradition of contracting the work out to people who DO give a damn. Below, Lauren Faust – late of “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic” – and company debut the first installment of their mini-sode miniseries featuring Supergirl, Batgirl and Wondergirl.

Supergirl essentially filling the Melissa McCarthy “Bridesmaids” spot (re: kinda-chubby impulsive troublemaker) is all kinds of inspired – of course she’d be impulsive, she’s indestructable! And why would someone who just flies everywhere have/need the Romanian gymnast physique of the other two?

The Transforming of Michael Bay

The assumption everyone had been working from re: Michael Bay and the “Transformers” movies was that he had MEANT it when he said he had no real interest in making movies based on an old toy property, and that he was only grudgingly taking the job(s) to build up the “fuck you money” that would let him get the projects he REALLY wanted to make off the ground. Even his surprise re-uppinng for “Transformers 4” had been understood as a condition to secure financing for the long-gestating “Pain & Gain.”

But 3 sequels is a looooong time in Hollywood; and now itseems it might be worth asking: Has Michael Bay actually developed a “taste” for junk-culture nostalgia wanks? One can be forgiven for hoping he HASN’T, given how singularly ill-suited his sensibilities are for it, but the evidence is mounting. Remember that brief feeling of relief when it was confirmed that Bay would only be PRODUCING the “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” reboot, since that implied he wouldn’t be all that involved? Well, it seems he’s a more hands-on producer than people assumed: Apparently he’s had a hand in the new film’s reworked storyline… and fans aren’t likely to be pleased with his new vision:

The Turtles are now Aliens. Yup. That’ll go over real well…