Nothing to report…

Yeah… nothing came out recently, and I’ve been SWAMPED video work (of my own choosing and doing, I realize) so… not much to update. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

I’m sure I’ll see “Street Fighter” before the weekend is out, at least.


Holy shit. This is too cool.

After featuring several reviews from me as stingers on “The Escapist Show,” The Escapist has given me a featured spot as part of “The Escapist Presents” for my very own OSCAR SHOW! Watch here, as I attempt a thorough examination of the nominated films, a breakdown of the nomination process, a dissection of Academy Awards history but MOSTLY rant and rage about the still mega-annoying snub of “The Dark Knight.”

Check me out:
Oh, and PLEASE do the main link here as well, even if the player is working. The Escapist has some cool stuff to see, and deserves your attention:

I’ll be frank with you guys: It’s been a REALLY rough two weeks for me recently. I’ve got two jobs outside of all the video work – and without getting into big “poor me” details ONE of them I just got laid off from and the second is soon set to close altogether. Not a great situation. But seeing this go up, and seeing the pretty positive reaction to it so far… WOW, what a ray of sunshine. Thank you ALL, seriously. And especially Russ Pitts, the video content head cheese at Escapist who reached out to me for the reviews and continues to be a great guy to do business with.


The new Friday the 13th…

…sucks balls. Another horror-remake misfire from Platinum Dunes, the cadre of Michael Bay cronies who’ve already blown it with Texas Chainsaw and The Hitcher.

I dunno what movie everybody else on the web has seen. MINE had a decent prologue and a couple of nice boobs, but the rest? Pure shit. The kills are lame, uncreative and shockingly bloodless. The cast of victims-to-be are broad and unlikable even for THIS franchise. And since fucking WHEN is Jason Vorhees a ninja? Not only can this character we’re told is a shambling, mentally-handicapped hulk scramble up a bulding like Jason Bourne, he’s a crack-shot archer and a master of electrical-espionage. And why the hell does JASON, of all movie-monsters, need his own Batcave secret lair? That’s like if The Wolfman had a helicopter.

(presumably) Devastator

Well, it had to happen EVENTUALLY, but I’m still sort of surprised to see it. Courtesy Transformers Movie Chronicles, here it is: FINALLY there’s (apparently) ONE decent-looking robot in a Transformers movie, and it’s Devastator:

I’m actually a little conflicted, truth be told. On the one hand, it’s the FIRST mecha-design in this series so far that doesn’t suck on toast. Yeah, it looks like “generic CGI monster design #5” rendered in construction-vehicle parts, but at least thats better than “Terminator dressed as a pop-art junk sculpture for Halloween” like all the others. And you can see that he’s technically made up of about five seperate vehicles that snap together Voltron-style (in the original versions, they also transformed into individual robots on their own called Constructicons, jury’s out on if thats the case here) so they got that right. It’s just somewhat of a not-unexpected downer that he doesn’t look a THING like, well, Devastator. I mean, literally not even close. LESS close than Megatron, even. It’s like if they had a picture up marked “New Batman costume” and it was a picture of Darkwing Duck.

In any case, if this is anything like the first one you can expect to see this fellow turn up for about five minutes right at the end, rendered barely visible by Michael Bay’s attempt to pretend he’s making Black Hawk Down.

Inglorious Basterds

Well, I’m certainly sold.

FWIW, the main plot of Tarantino’s latest concerns a WWII U.S. Army scheme to shell-shock Nazis in occupied France by conscripting a counter-terrorism squad of Jewish soldiers and dropping them into the shit with orders to committ as many acts of violence, torture and over-the-top cruelty they can think of to every German soldier they can lay hands on, with the mandatory MINIMUM being that they collect the SCALPS of their victims, Little Big Horn style. So, “Defiance” meets “Munich” by way of “G.I. Joe.” And people wonder why I love this guy…

Early tagline seems to be “There are no crimes… behind enemy lines,” which unfortunately translates to “The same toolboxes who tried to appropriate Dark Knight, 300 and Order of The Phoenix as coded messages in support of The Bush Doctrine are probably gonna try and get their mitts on this, too,” so if I were QT I’d try and get out in front of that with a big, solid “fuck no!” ASAP.

Long week…

…you don’t even wanna know. BIG coolness coming end of this coming week if all goes well, but right now? Yuck.

Saw “Coraline” – absolute must see. First real stab someone’s made at doing a legit horror movie for young kids since I don’t even remember when, and it knocks it out of the park. I can safely tell you that I was more scared by THIS movie than I was by The Uninvited. Garaunteed 2009 top-ten movie, easy. If you’ve got kids, take `em. It’s a good movie for all. Will it give them nightmares? Yeah, probably. That’s a good thing. Nightmares are practice for how much adulthood eventually sucks.