I’m sad now.

Thanks to the slow, drawn-out receding of The American Empire, AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 has already been out all over the world so you’re probably going to get my review before Friday – as in later today, I think.

Until then, here’s something else also about Spider-Man because that’s what my week looks like:

Wow. How’d we miss this one?

I get that there are folks who thought the Mandarin twist in IRON MAN 3 didn’t work logically, didn’t see the humor in it or just would’ve preferred to see the magic alien rings stuff play out closer to the source. I get that. What I’ll never get are the people who can’t grasp why a comics-perfect translation of a character whose entire shtick is “MYAH HA HA! I AM THE FACE OF EXOTIC AND EEEEEEEEEEVIL CHINA!!!!!” just doesn’t fly anymore in a mainstream movie.

But, if xenophobic paranoia about those scaaaaaary Asians taking over America is your bag? Don’t worry, cameras are now cheap enough for hack propagandists to get your back. Below, the trailer for DRAGON DAYS (which somehow escaped my notice to this point) a literal, honest to goodness, no-bullshit Yellow Peril movie somehow coming out in the 21st century. Wow…

Holy shit.

Also BRICK MANSIONS.

Just having some fun this week…

Oops, this is a bit late…

Also, Intermission (w/ spoilers)

Has enough time passed that the public has agreed to just let Clint Eastwood’s weird “Invisible Obama” thing at the RNC fade from memory? I hope so, because he remains an interesting presence of the film landscape and appears to have decided that he’s simply not going to stop making movies. His latest is a feature adaptation of the stage musical about Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons:

Like it says.

See also: I wrote a thing about Stephen Colbert.

The emerging coolness of certain viral marketing sites had lulled me into a false sense of thinking that maybe X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST might be a better movie than it’s looked like up to this point. So thank you, MTV Movie Awards, for debuting this actual scene from the film to bring me back down to Earth:

Aaaaah. People in interchangable black club-wear running through hazy underlit hallways. Bryan Singer, ladies and gentlemen: For some reason, we decided he was an action director.

So RAID. Much kick. Wow.

Also, Intermission.