I’d like to spend all day engaging people about this, but the fact is I have a shit-ton of deadline-driven work to do that’s only going to get done if I got media-dark for a few hours. So this will have to be all from me about the big Obama gun laws speech today.

I imagine the number-one thing anyone wants to hear from me is how I feel about the President calling for “more research into violent video-games” as part of his big set of plans/proposals. Honestly? I hated hearing it. It cuts me to the bone when otherwise intelligent, reasonable people I happen to support have to jump and join that particular political dance; especially when I strongly suspect that they’re better than that. I would prefer that the President had said “some have called for more attention paid to a link between violent games or movies and gun deaths, but the fact is that research has already been done a hundred times over and the link quite simply does not exist and continuing to call for it distracts from the real issue; which is guns and the obscene power of the Gun Lobby.”

I’d have liked to see that, and maybe someday I will, but it wasn’t going to be today.

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/bcvideo/1.0/iframe/embed.html?videoId=100000002008519&playerType=embed

The fact is, enough of my fellow Americans are paranoid enough (either through their own deficiencies or because they lack the necessary clarity and intellectual confidence to not be swayed by the propaganda of the NRA and their ilk) to give real traction to the meme of Obama/democrats “coming to take all the guns!!!;” one that only gets stronger if said propagandists can claim that they and their issue is being “singled out.” That they and their issue should be singled out is beside the point – “singling out” sounds bad.

Thus was Joe Biden obliged to invite representatives of the movie and game industry (Why not books? Oh, right – older/out-of-touch people aren’t scared/confused by books) to his various summitts – even though he’s smart enough to know that the “link” doesn’t exist – in order to affect the image that guns and gun-rights weren’t “alone” in being called to the principal’s office. And thus is Obama obliged to namecheck some illusory need for violent games “research” even though he’s also smart enough to know better and saavy enough to know that even if he did buy into (for example) the “desensitization” fallacy, actually making any moves that even smelled of censorship would lose he and his party their crucial support among GenX/Y voters.

But here’s the rub: “Calling for more research,” in Washington-speak, translates to “we pretty-much garauntee nothing will come of this.” It is, quite simply, a smoke-screen – a way for the President and his allies to appear to take the “broader solution” nonsense seriously while they get about the real business of breaking the back of the Gun Lobby in order to make U.S. gun laws slightly more sane.

Would I prefer that this hadn’t been part of the speech, even as I recognize it as little more than rhetorical sleight of hand? Of course I would. I also wish he didn’t have slip into maudlin reassurances about “Our Creator” at the end, or that he didn’t need to feign four years worth of “evolution” on his support for gay marriage. I welcome the day, soon to come, when we look back on today’s notions of “violent” movies and games causing real violence with the same “this was actually a THING??” horror and sadness with which we react to Calvin Candie’s phrenology speech in “Django Unchained.”

But that’s not realistically going to happen today, and progressives, young people and especially gamers among them need to recognize that before they think about dismissing and turning their backs on an administration that – where and when it actually counts – has been (and is likely to continue to be) largely on their side. The perfect mustn’t be the enemy of the good.

No, but topical is topical…

Lock n’ load, Internet! Dust off all your best tired-ass “jokes” about speed-ramping, teal n’ orange and “misogyny;” Disney/Lucasfilm have announced that Zack Snyder is doing a “Star Wars” movie.

…but it’s NOT “Episode VII.”

In case you were under the impression that Disney wasn’t planning to milk the ever-loving shit out of the malnourished and neglected cow it recently liberated from Skywalker Ranch; the big announcement here is that they’re going to be making “Star Wars” Universe movies apart from the already-confirmed New Trilogy, and that Snyder will be first out of the gate with an in-canon entry being described as “Kurosawa’s ‘Seven Samurai’ but with Jedi.”

Most important takeaway from this, as far as I’m concerned: Since Snyder’s bankability had been more than a little bruised by the lukewarm reception for “Sucker Punch,” this is a really strong indicator that people within the industry are very, very enthusiastic about how “Man of Steel” is coming together.”

Between Jodie Foster last night at the Globes and Quentin Tarantino a few days ago, 2013 is thus far a good year for movie legends finding highly-entertaining ways of saying “Stop asking about shit everyone already knows the answer to and no I’m not going to play along and give you your precious fucking soundbite/headline/etc anyway.”

…aaaaand now I guess I have to be the asshole critic who can’t resist wondering aloud where this charming, engaging, energetic version of Jodie Foster has BEEN given the forgettable to downright godawful movies she’s been making for well over a decade? I mean, yeah, great moment; but the real “news” here is that she’s come out as someone who hasn’t totally checked-out, after all.

Not especially good.

“Intermission” is the obligatory Oscar column.

As a film journalist who also does time on the “intereview-but-really-just-promotion-for-the-movie-and-traffic-bumping-celebrity-cameo-for-you” dancefloor, I’m probably supposed to feel some sort of sympathy or kinship with Krishnan Guru-Murthy in this clip, but… no. Fuck no. It is fucking awesome watching Quentin rear up in (wholly justified) self-assurance and “Fuck you, you and this production only exist because of people like me, I’m the Film God doing you favor being here and that was the line!” (paraphrased, obviously) swagger when the “violence in movies” question comes up…

Obviously, you need to engage in discussions about things… up to a point. But much like climate change and evolution, that a direct causal link between violent media and real-world violence does not exist is fucking settled in the eyes of intelligent, reason-minded people (which, yes, excludes basically half the media) and people with a genuine understand/appreciation of film, art, culture etc. (which excludes the other half) and eventually you just has to say “Fuck it. The world is round, Intelligent Design/Creationism is horseshit, carbon emissions aren’t good for us, 9-11 wasn’t an inside job, the Holocaust actually happened, the President was born in the United States and violent movies and video games have never been and never will be responsible for a single solitary act of actual violence anywhere ever!,” move the hell on and the leave the goddamn troglodytes to sniff their fingers and rot while the rest of us keep progressing forward.

Good lord, how did it take this long for someone to do this!?

My friends at ScrewAttack have a show called “Death Battle.” If you haven’t been watching, the basic idea is: “Who would win?” nerd-debates + actual in-depth research + crazy-good production values, topped off with an animated short visualizing the projected result. Very much worth checking out.

Today, they’ve finally taken up the “versus” question that’s been topping these sorts of lists for the better part of two decades now: GOKU vs. SUPERMAN. Go. Watch. Now.

http://www.springboardplatform.com/mediaplayer/springboard/video/scre004/711/640319/

Just got done watching what turned out to be bullshit-packed run of nominations, now it’s time to go to bed, blog more later.

For now… “Silver Linings Playbook,” huh? Really? That’s where the bar is now? Because we’re all thrilled DeNiro decided to show up ambulatory and it turns out David O. Russell’s taste in magical problem-solving imaginary girlfriends corresponds to that of lots of other industry people and movie critics?

Fine. Great. Whatever. I look forward to equally-deserving two-part episodes of “Modern Family” and “Parenthood” getting their nominations next year…

So, yesterday I ran a Big Picture episode about “Amazing Spider-Man #700” and the subsequent “Superior Spider-Man” relaunch…

SPOILERS FOR HERE ON:

…in which I said that A.) I was digging at least the concept at play, i.e. that Peter Parker dies in ASM #700 with Doctor Octopus having taken over his body and intending to impersonate Spider-Man… but as a good guy because he’d also inherited Peter’s memories/mind as well; and B.) That it was still not worth freaking out over since if it didn’t work it’d stupid-easy for Marvel to just say “Hey, look! Peter’s soul/consciousness/whatever isn’t totally gone and is re-asserting itself!” to get him back into the “real” lead.

Well, turns out the FIRST ISSUE of “Superior” (out now) closes with the reveal that, suprise surprise, Peter Parker’s “ghost” (does it really matter in what sense?) is “haunting” Ock-as-Spidey; curbing his darker impulses while also scheming to retake control of his body/mind/life. Instead of being the way they get “out” of the new status quo, this is the (temporary) status quo.

So, basically, this means that the whole “End of Amazing!”/”Launch of new series!” thing was a 90s-style “NEW #1!!!!” sales-stunt; and that ultimately “Superior” will wind up being a long-ish “That time I was a ghost and fought Doc Ock for control of my own body” miniseries of “Amazing,” which will almost-certainly revert to it’s original title/numbering on a “big” number (800?) and that whatever the title/numbeirng is at the time Peter will probably be “back” in time for the next movie.

…but you already knew that.