“Huh. That’s a way more impressive voice-cast than you’d expect for “Call of Duty – Black Ops III: Man, That Harness Thingee In The Elysium Trailer Looks Cool.”

Pretty-much what you’d expect…

“Dear Mr. Watterson” – which was just picked up for distribution by Gravitas Ventures – is not, unfortunately, a “Calvin & Hobbes” movie at least in the form many fans have been hoping to see. Instead, it’s a documentary about the strip, it’s influence on the comics medium (Bill Amend and Berkley Breathed feature prominently) and it’s enigmatic creator Bill Watterson. I don’t believe they ever got Watterson himself to be interviewed on camera – that would be a pretty big deal, as he’s notoriously reclusive and private.

As we inch ever closer to Oscar Season, here’s the first trailer for “Shame” director Steve McQueen’s “Twelve Years A Slave;” which stars Chiwetel Ejiofor as real-life figure Solomon Northup – a born-free black man from New York who, in 1841, was kidnapped and sold into slavery; a condition from which he spent twelve years attempting to free himself. Benedict Cumberbatch and Michael Fassbender are two of Northup’s four known owners, while Brad Pitt is one of the good guys. Screenplay comes from John Ridley, story was filmed once before as a TV movie by Gordon Parks.

In the interest of keeping things straight, this would be the “black-themed” early-Fall Oscar Bait movie that doesn’t look like embarrassing schlock. If nothing else, good to see Ejiofor finally headlining a big movie.

George Zimmerman, found not guilty of the murder of Trayvon Martin. Take it away, Bugs…

Hypothetically speaking… exactly how bad do things in Florida have to get before it can be declared a failed state? Because right now, I would not have one single ethical, moral or even political issue with federal troops being deployed to occupy the damn place on the grounds that it’s leaders and citizenry have – by electing a government that ultimately includes this incompetent prosecution and corruption-infected police department – demonstrated themselves dangerously incapable of self-government. I’m aware that this is probably “un-Constitutional” (whatever that means anymore) – I just don’t think it would wrong at this point. And Texas? You’re gettin’ there, too.

Y’know… certain entities in the U.S. media (who, incidentally, are celebrating tonight) like to bray on about how “urban” youth – mostly, but not all, “persons of color” – often go about with a reflexive, deeply-ingrained mistrust of the law, legal-authority and police in general. Well, let me ask you a question: When you demonstrate to people, time and time again, that the law will not protect them… that the law will favor, assume-just and ultimately allow the acquittal of those who would wrong them up to and including murder… what the FUCK do you expect they’re opinion of the law to be?

I’m aware that some people are worried about “rioting” over this verdict. Sadly, that’s a legitimate concern. Know what’s sadder? That while they (or I) might have to fear a riot after this or that few and far-apart court cases, there are many more people who have to fear the presence of gun-toting, race-profiling, vigilante dipshits like George Zimmerman (and the legal system that ignores and abets them) every day of their lives.

The Samurai/Cowboy remake dance hasn’t been done for awhile, mostly because the U.S. stopped making westerns with any real frequency. But now we’ve got a new entry: “Yurusarezaru mono” is a remake of Clint Eastwood’s “Unforgiven,” set during the waning days of the Samurai era with Ken Watanabe in the Eastwood role. The trailer (embedded below) doesn’t have English subtitles yet; but if you remember “Unforgiven” it’s pretty easy to pick out who is supposed to be who and what’s going on. Either way, looks GOOD.

On paper, Fox’s desire to hold onto the “X-Men” license no matter how iffy it’s boxoffice prospects get makes a certain amount of sense: Owning the “X” franchise gives them first-dibs on their own personal universe of hundreds of characters. In practicality, though, a huge swath of those characters are terrible. Really, really terrible. I’m not even kidding, there’s like maybe 20-25 “good” X-Men people. The rest are kind of a horror-show, conceived in that moment when Marvel could stick pretty much any overdesigned dipshit with an unfortunate haircut on a cover with an “X” in it’s title and it’d sell.

I have it on good authority that “I Declare War” is awesome. The premise, at least, is head-slappingly brilliant in that “Why didn’t I think of that??” way: Film follows a group of kids “playing war” in the woods, and uses editing and FX to show their sticks and balloons turning into the guns and grenades they imagine them to be. I’ll be interested to see how it’s received, since even though this is all supposed to be imaginary the sight of moppets swinging around automatic weapons has become incendiary in and of itself.

Remember: This weekend is your chance to support original filmmaking at theaters.

Below, the trailer for “Saving Mr. Banks,” the “making of ‘Mary Poppins” movie with Tom Hanks as Walt Disney and Emma Thompson as author P.L. Travers. Looks pretty good to me – obviously leaning on a fairly fictionalized version of the story (the real events didn’t exactly have a cinematic arc, and neither character would come out particularly likable) but the basic idea of Walt having to realize that this isn’t just one more fairytale to monetize vs. Travers possibly coming out of her own shell a bit re: the personal trauma that informed the book (Travers’ father was a banker who died young, leaving her and her sisters in the care of their mentally-unwell, suicidal mother.) There doesn’t appear to be anyone in the cast playing Madge Burnand, who is believed to have been Travers’ partner at the time.

Unless there’s a film I’m forgetting, this is the first time Walt Disney as a “real” figure has been the central character of a film, which is sort of incredible given… well, that he’s Walt Disney. The Disney company put the money behind the production, but the screenplay wasn’t developed in-house, it’s a Black List pickup. I assume they’ll probably end the film at or around the conclusion of Travers’ actual collaborations with the production – Walt slightly cowed by having come up against an underestimated “children’s entertainer” as headstrong as himself, Travers headed back to England having experienced some sort of self-purging catharsis – and sidestep the less-than-amicable way they ultimately split: Travers turned up at the L.A. premiere uninvited, accosted Disney at the after-party with demands to get rid of the the animated sequence (she hated cartoons) and was told matter-of-factly that “the ship has sailed;” hence why there were never any sequels even though Walt tried for them.