Indiana Jones Teaser (Update!)

I went to bed RIGHT after posting the business about the early “bootleg” trailer, and part of me woke up seriously wondering if I’d dreamed the “big part.” Well, I didn’t. Here’s the real thing. Watch now:

Let’s do this in order (coincidentally, I’m aware that this is the internet so some of you may have been reading spoilers or downloading scripts and may already “know” stuff that looks like setups for intriguing possibilities to me since I HAVEN’T been reading spoilers. I’m not planning to talk about anything outside of what I see IN THIS TRAILER or what I think it might mean given other things WIDELY KNOWN about the film, and I’d ask that any commenters extend the same courtesy to myself and other readers.):

0:01 – I like how the “recap” part between here and 0:50 is sort of trying to toy with expectations what with the kinda generic whoosh-cuts, the cheeseball Michael Bay shot of the slow-motion billowing flag at sunset over a military convoy and the “Children of Dune” score before we get The Hat and the iconic music cue.

0:58 – Settled: They’re not going to try and dance around Ford being noticeably older. Good call in my estimation.

1:00 – That’s more like it.

1:04 – Cate Blanchete as our apparently Soviet villainess. Sweet.

1:06 – Whip-swing!!! Awesome. But wait now… where are we, exactly? Why is Archaeologist Indiana Jones doing his thing in a big warehouse full of crates? Wait…

1:10 – Ha!

1:14 – FREEZE IT right there! The crate (we’re still in the warehouse, apparently) in the truck Indy just commanders has “TOP SECRET ARMY INTEL” printed on it. Indiana Jones. Warehouse full of Military secrets. Like the kind they shelved The Ark of The Covenant in.

1:19 – There’s Shia LeBouf. Kid, you’ve got just as much to appologize for as EVERYONE ELSE involved with “Transformers,” pennance starts HERE.

1:22 – Mezo-American tribal warriors, looks like. Seeming to confirm that the “Crystal Skull” of the title is the Mayan (“Mitchell-Hedges”) one. More on that in just a bit.

1:26 – And the Atom Bomb drops. A metallic, apparently-magnetized box with military-style printing reading “ROSWELL NEW MEXICO – 1947.” Roswell. 1947. The location and date of the famous alleged UFO CRASH in history.

1:27 on – Explosion, airplane, temple, car chase, more tribesmen, Karen Allen, awesome… but NOTHING after it is going to cause as much speculation as that box from Roswell.

So… we have Crystal Skulls in the title, Mayans in a temple, what MIGHT BE the warehouse for the Lost Ark and a box from Roswell dated the year of the crash. I think this points to something, and if I’m CLOSE to right it’s potentially a really big, brave idea. ONCE AGAIN, these is just MY CONJECTURE: If there are in fact spoilers that confirm OR refute any of it, I DON’T want to know about, okay?

Okay… Crystal Skulls (read: human skulls carved from crystal) are a reccuring item in pop-archaeology. Frequently the subject of hoaxes or misinformation, they mostly crop up because similar items are mentioned in various Native American legends. The most famous one is called the “Mitchell-Hedges” Skull, supposedly said to have been found under a Mayan temple (Mayan, Senecca and Cherokee Indians all have Crystal Skulls in their ancient mythology.) This claim is largely believed to be false, but the skull itself is real and it’s actual origins have not been fully identified.

Here’s where it gets interesting: When the Skulls pop up in popular culture, it’s usually in connection to the Indian legend in which the Skulls are brought and/or created by celestial beings (“gods.”) They often enjoyed a ressurgence in popularity whenever Erik von Daniken’s “The Chariots of The Gods” is also ‘big’ again – in the book, von Daniken theorizes that mankinds stories of “divine” encounters were actual Extra-Terrestrial encounters (“God is an astronaut,” in other words.) See where I’m going with this?

If the Crystal Skulls AND Roswell are BOTH in here, I’d say it’s a distinct possibility that some element of “The Ancient Gods were aliens” will be explored here. But MORE intriguingly… if (and I’ll admit, this is a REALLY REALLY big “if”) that’s the warehouse from Raiders… will we also be suggesting that the Judeo-Christian God (as in “I Am Who Am”) Indy has twice semi-encountered in the earlier films might ALSO have actually been Daniken’s “Ancient Astronauts?” Just saying… it could be.

May 22nd can’t get here fast enough.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s