Guess what I just got back from?

Bob’s Journal: Friday, March 6th 2009.

Stupid dog in the hallway today. Every day. Scratched at door. Woke me up. Gave him snausage. Still awake too early. The suburbs are afraid of me. I’ve seen their true face.

Work bad. People rude. Foul-smelling. Stupid. They’ll look up and cry “can I get a price check on this?” And I’ll whisper, “No.”

Saw “Watchmen.” Midnight show. Gorgeous theatre out in the boonies. Overflow house. Fans in costumes. One girl dressed as Silhouette. Astonishing figure. Breasts you could call as evidence before God as to why humanity deserves to avoid Judgement Day for another few decades. Five to one prediction in reality she’s a bookstore clerk or a grade-school art teacher. Dresses modestly neo-hippie. No clue how hot she actually is. Surrounded by army of mostly-male, similarly-dispositioned friends who’d leap swords-drawn into the abyss at her command but are too timid to ever actually make the romantic advance they’ve been plotting-out in their heads since the day each met her; a condition she does not acknowledge either out of naivete’ or sadism. Second option more appealing.

Movie excellent. One-ups “Dark Knight” by being darker, meaner, sexier, deeper AND by proving that you CAN do all that without throwing out the color and the otherworldliness. PG-13 Batman movie terrified that a Lazarus Pit might blunt it’s “realism” suddenly seems almost cowardly in face of R-rated Watchmen movie that sends a blue man-god to Mars AND has roles for actors playing Nixon, Annie Liebowitz and Pat Buchanan. Malin Ackerman finally good in something. Jackie Earl Haley a revalation. Does the impossible. Makes you regret that Rorschach ever puts his mask back on, once you see how great a facial/physical performance he gives when relieved of it. Will be approached for every “creepy guy” role for forseeable future. Has probably ALREADY been offered Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare remake. Jeffrey Dean Morgan terrific. Expect to see lots of dark-humored couples going as Comedian and Silk Specter I this Halloween. New ending (content-swapped ending, really) works, though could stand to be bloodier. Subtley set up via background details to kick anyone not “ready” for it square in the fucking gut. You’ll know what I mean when you see the “money shot.” Shot of Silhouette in opening credits sequence one of best things I’ve ever seen. “Conservative” critics will hate the whole film for that one shot. People need to get the fuck over Dr. Manhattan’s junk. You can see his penis clearly in-frame maybe three or four times, otherwise it’s BARELY visible since he’s all blue, glowy and semi-transparent. You’d think people had never seen a dick before. I christen Zack Snyder: “Michael Bay But With Actual TALENT.” Earns lifetime benefit-of-doubt otherwise only afforded to Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson and Paul Verhoeven.

Bed now. Tired. See movie again tommorow. NEED to see how plays to regular Friday night movie crowd that doesn’t know every twist that’s coming. Also see in morning some point. Want to see horrified (or elated?) reactions of younger audiences brought by ignorant parents. Need sleep. Never compromise. Even in face of unemployment.

5 thoughts on “Guess what I just got back from?

  1. Anonymous says:

    Man, i fucking love you!Not only you dissolved my fears that the film could turn out mediocre, but you also did it in the best fashion humanly possible!Now i want to see it even MORE!Sleep good, and thanks for the review 🙂-G


  2. Anonymous says:

    I’ve seen reviews that are split down the middle. Some say “terrible”, some say “good”, some say “good, but a strict adherence to the source didn’t work as a movie”. Will we be seeing a full review from you in the future? I’m curious to hear your whole thoughts.


  3. YetUnnamed says:

    If you can, I STRONGLY recommend seeing it in IMAX. I saw it at Midnight in IMAX last night (West coast, so much later than you), and it was absolutely ASTONISHED by the massive screen and sound system.I think Earle Haley actually did better than Ledger as the Joker. I nerdgasmed at several points in the film simply because of him (sidenote: I was one of 3 Rorschach cosplayers at that showing).I’m also hoping you do a video review of this, either here or on the Escapist. I’d love to really hear it from you.


  4. Ghostmayhem, a fan ;-) says:

    xDFantastic review, Bob.Couldn’t disagree with the critics who disliked the film more.Which is, unfortunately, the majority.65% on RottenTomatoes….…Goddamn!You definitely Could go into some detail in a video review, perhaps when you’re not half-dead from seeing the midnight showing. (God knows I was after seeing TDK at midnight.Heh, I like calling it the “cosplay hangover”.)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s