"The Blind Side"

Embedded below, the trailer for “The Blind Side,” an upcoming Sandra Bullock vehicle which I’m informed is “based on an inspiring true story” and from the looks of things is primed-and-ready to be the White People Feeling Good About Themselves film of the year…

Yeesh. “True” or not, it literally looks like someone snatched up all the most maudlin and irritating parts of various disposable feel-good films from the last decade and slapped together a “movie.” Going by the trailer, it’s the story of homeless, emotionally-withdrawn, gargantuan black teenager (think John Coffey meets Antwone Fisher) who is able to right his life only after being scooped up off the side of the road (literally, like he’s a stray puppy or something) by a family of rich white people overseen by Bullock as an all-additude matriarch in the Erin Brokovich vein. They teach him how to sleep in a bed, go to school and play football real good; he teaches them… life lessons… about… stuff. (“yer changin’ that boy’s life!” “No… he’s changin’ MINE.” Are you FUCKING kidding me!!??)

Dontcha just LOVE that one bit with Bullock’s character getting the “talking-to” about her adoptee being beyond help by the older black woman presumably of some relation to him? Arentcha just gonna LOVE the way the film will ultimately be about proving her wrong and vindicating Bullock’s ability to “save” him with the simple application of all the extra money and time her higher social-standing have afforded her? And how about that bit with Bullock marching up to the scary gangbangers and “tellin’ `em the score?”

I’m told this is a true story, and that the guy actually got drafted by the NFL this year. If so, good for him. Doesn’t mean the movie doesn’t look like crap 😉

9 thoughts on “"The Blind Side"

  1. Dav3 says:

    I forget where I saw this trailer recently, but yeeesh! I normally hate “feel-good” movies to begin with but this one is off the charts! And, though I usually enjoy Sandra Bullock, that accent is like nails on a chalkboard.

    Come to think of it, I must have seen it in a theater or I wouldn't have watched the whole thing.


  2. Alex Howard says:

    “Based on a true story” is another fun way of saying “We took real life and used it as a very very general outline (*warning* actual story may have little to no resemblance to real life events).” I mean, it's so ridiculously overused that the Coen Brothers used it to make viewers suspend their disbelief for Fargo. That's really all it is, a tool for making moviegoers go “Wow, that was amazing because it's true.” and not “Wow, that was amazing that they got a nice complete 2 hour movie all with rising action, conflict, climax, and falling action from something as boring and dull and repetitive as real life.”

    I also like the “subtle” moral of this: “With a good family life (like white people have, not that we're saying anything, we're just gonna show you a bunch of ruined black families and let you draw the conclusion) anyone (even black people) can succeed!”


  3. Jon Ericson says:

    I read the book and didn't know there was a movie coming. It was written by the author of Moneyball, which somehow also is becoming a movie, Michael Lewis. He is a friend via the literal Old-Boys network of the family who adopted Michael Oher. The main thrust of the book is that men with certain physical traits have become phenomenally important in the NFL thanks to a shift from rushing to passing on offense. Oher happens to have those attributes and was lucky enough to be discovered at a time when those physical traits are at a premium in the NFL. He's making millions when many of his contemporaries are dead, in jail or dirt poor.

    Reading the book, I had a very uncomfortable feeling about the motives of the white family. They seem genuinely interested in helping the young man, but that's partially because they know he has a shot at being a football star. He's a project for them though they don't seem to profit directly from him. I don't imagine Hollywood will preserve the moral ambiguity.

    Anyway, read the book.


  4. Bob says:

    Thanks, yeah, I think I'll try and hunt a copy of that. THAT sounds like a much more interesting movie – particularly the focus on the change in NFL priorities – than what's being sold here. Then again, one imagines that if they actually MADE a film that carried even a hint of doubt about the moral righteousness of the white family Oher and his adoptive parents would've publicly denounced the film, which would've been disasterous.


  5. patmanforever52 says:

    I saw this trailer when I went to see District 9. The theater it was supposed to be playing in accidentally started playing Julie and Julia. That is, until a mob of angry moviegoers went up to the front and bitched about it.

    Ah, good times. Oh, and yeah, it does look like shit.


  6. tyra menendez says:

    bob, see if you can track down a little thing called “assume the position” with robert whul. one of the biggest things i got out of it was this: history is pop culture.
    need an example? paul reviere only rode 19 miles, that night. isreal bissel is actually the one who rode the 300 miles, that night. but when longfellow wrote the epic poem, bissel's name left a bad taste in the mouth.


  7. kenpai says:

    I've seen that.
    We the people, in orfer to form a more perfect union…
    “MORE Perfect?! The United States is built on a grammatical f***-up!!


  8. darci says:

    I read parts of this book (the ones about Oher, not all the technical football stuff) and absolutely loved it. I really hope that this movie stays true to the original story, because this is one true story that needs no Hollywood embellishments to bring tears to even the most uptight person – what a life-affirming story.

    I've been waiting for this movie for awhile, but only just now saw the trailer and that is getting me even more excited. I also thought it was cool that they used a snippet of the song “Kill the Messenger” by Jack's Mannequin in the 2nd trailer (about 45 seconds in), because the singer also has an inspirational personal story as a cancer survivor…hope to hear more Jack's Mannequin music in the movie.


  9. Anonymous says:

    I have the book. But this movie looks like shit. The fucking douchebags in Hollywood are going to add so much stupid shit to this movie.
    P.S. Sandra needs to admit that she's 40 and stop making shit movies like this and proposal.


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