For people who actually give a damn about movies beyond some kind of statistical horse-race (really, guys – when did moviegoing become fucking Fantasy Football?) watching boxoffice numbers is usually one of the most depressing things you can do. Which is why I rarely engage with it, save for circumstances like this weekend where the sociological implications carry a measure of interest. In any case, The Numbers are in…

Worthless, artless pandering to the lowest common-denominator “guy movie” (and the worst action film not featuring a badly-designed transforming robot)? #1.

Worthless, artless pandering to the lowest common-denominator “chick flick?” #2.

Something brilliant, genuinely-inspired and one of MAYBE three movies from Summer 2010 that will actually MATTER a year (or even three months) from now? #4. Behind fucking “The Other Guys.”


Yeah, yeah, I know. Already assured cult status, huge on DVD, remember-what-happened-for-Fight-Club-and-Fear&Loathing, etc. And take solace in the “big picture” that this wouldn’t have even gotten MADE five years ago. All true.

But, still… “The Expendables?” Really? Humanity, sometimes you really just disgust me 😉

62 thoughts on “numbers

  1. tyra menendez says:


    The funny thing is, Fight Club was not his first novel. He first wrote a novel called Invisible Monsters, about a model who gets her face blown off by a gun shot.
    When he submitted it, the publisher hated it, so he wrote Fight Club as a big “fuck you” to anything corporate, and sent it in. Obviously, they liked it, and Chuck got published. So his second novel was technically his first.
    But yeah, all his books are written that way, you like it or you don't. I will give you that it's one of the few cases that the movie was better than the book. Though, that's not the case with the movie version of Choke.
    The “boom” moment wasn't as powerful, because I figured it out before it was revealed. Though not by the middle of act two, like with some movies with a “twist”.

    Anyway, I figure Chuck's writing style is about like Bill Sienkiewicz' art style, it's not for everyone.

    And as far as the DVD blurb goes, calling the main character “narrator” on the box could sound lame. So, at least they were aware of the “I am Jack's …” narrative device, meaning they probably actually watched the thing. What is really terrible, is when the blurb is completely misleading of the plot, which I've encountered, but can't think of any examples. I see your point, but it could have been worse.


  2. Andrew says:

    Fair enough, I'll meet you half way on that.

    I know what you mean about misleading blurbs but I too am unable to come up with one.

    The back of Fight Club is not the end of the world and Chuck's books aren't terrible but I tend towards having a very polarised view of everything.

    It drives my wife mad.

    Hey, Reasoned debate on internet leads to man changing mind.

    There's a news headline.


  3. Ezenwa says:

    Color me a spam artist, Bob, but you have to see this review.

    Dude, he captures virtually every reason why the movie works. He even explains the characters very well.

    Main Point: this movie is actually deeper than one sees it to be. He does go into why he doesn't like the Expendables, from a film standpoint, but, well, I haven't seen it yet, and I'll probably enjoy it. I just don't want to be comparing two unrelated movies together.

    By the way, another reason why this movie hasn't maintained lots of money: it's not everywhere. Should it have been? Absolutely


  4. tyra menendez says:


    Also, said debate doesn't lead to invocation of Godwin's Law. That, too, would be a headline.

    I think knowing that people can't punch you in the face, when they get pissed, at you, leads people to not back down. Personally, I'd rather save my outrage for something that actually matters, not opinions of entertainment. And I can not like something while recognizing that it's not shit. I recognize Lord of the Rings as a great story, but I'm still bored to tears with the writing style; I never even made it passed Tom Bombadille, on the second try. Same with Frankenstien, I couldn't finish it, because of the bi-polar writing style. I toss that up to the whole teenage-girl thing.


  5. H says:


    no one likes dickish remarks back and forth on threads. yes, Q is being a bit of a twat. don't be one back.
    that said, i have a couple things to say. while i respect your right to have an opinion, as we are obviously different people with different tastes, i will also say that i disagree with your opinions and felt your approach showed closed-mindedness.
    however, Mr. Cesarano said pretty much everything i was going to say in my initial response; he was not listing reasons for why you are wrong, he was supplying food for thought, in the hopes that you may see things from a different angle. your response of simply refusing them and claiming that your rights are in danger of violation showed some irritating immaturity.

    also, your original comment sounded like you were saying “uuugghhh i don't like things that are popular.” had you worded it more like “things being over-hyped makes me go in with unfairly high expectations”, this little mess could have potentially been avoided.


  6. akkuma420 says:

    That was the first reasonable response to anything I have had to say here.
    I suppose your right, It did come off sounding a little immature.
    I think it was partly due to the fact that I had spent the majority of the day trying to explain myself on why I really didn't care for the movie.
    I just really don't know what it was about that movie though, It just didn't do anything for me, everything just felt so forced, the humor, the style and the soundtrack.
    I personally thought I would love this movie because I was lucky enough to grow up in those awesome video game years.
    I cant even really explain why I didn't like it to be honest, it just didn't impress me, and I left the theater disappointed.
    Maybe Ill go see it again.

    As for all the other comments, I just hate the feeling that I'm being attacked for my personal opinion's, it really pisses me off.
    Even more so when the person trying to attack you is an obvious douche bag.


  7. Philbo says:

    Bob, would you know where to go to find out the release numbers in the UK? I only ask because the movie is being advertised over here as by the director of Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz: two British movies that are well on their way to becoming contemporary classics (if thats not an oxymoron?).

    For this reason I think the movie could do better than expected when released in a week over here.


  8. Andrew says:

    True but I might construe your reference to Godwin's Law as an implication that I have been as much of a choad as Hitler.
    You have then brought him up and I would be able to refer to Godwin's Law.
    Recursive references:


    It is of course impossible to prove (I love the interweb) but I am 6'2″ 220lbs and both ex-forces and and ex-bouncer, I rarely back down in arguments in real life.
    I do however think it is an important facet of the personality of a man to be able to admit when he's wrong.


  9. tyra menendez says:

    I'm far too blunt to invoke Godwin's Law by merely referencing it. However, I also hate to invoke it, so if I wanted to compare you to a fascist, I'd probably use a fictional one.

    I think being able to make friendly after a disagreement is also an important facet. =D


  10. Paul says:

    I'm going to engage in a helluva lot of schadenfreude on this one. Sure I don't like any of those other films either but Scott Pilgrim going down in flames and Pilgrim boosters nearly jumping out of windows over it just….well, it just brings a smile to my face. Glad to know hipster still = bomb at the box office.


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