Max Bialystock has done it again!

Before you ask: Yes, that’s supposed to be The Green Goblin. When people act incredulous at how protective comic-book fans get about costumes… THIS IS WHY.

I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but the existance of the forthcoming “Spider-Man Musical” – directed by Julie Taymor with music by Bono and The Edge, no really – really does seem like something that can ONLY exist as a front for something else… or an outright CON, like in “The Producers.”

But WHAT would the con be? Is someone at Sony funneling money into this to make “Spiderlight” look better by comparison (it’s working…)? Is Marvel Studios trying to kill their own character’s brand so they can buy his movie rights back cheaper? Does Julie Taymor, or maybe Bono, hate superhero movies and this is all an elaborate gamble to kill the genre off a’la “Batman & Robin?”

Vogue has an Annie Leibovtiz fashion shoot up based around the shows costumes, and they look… wow. Now, firstly, the whole premise of this shoot is stupid: Broadway stage-show costumes like these aren’t meant to be viewed either this close up or static. But even taking that into account… Holy Crap.

In any case, here’s a picture of thoroughly-useless, inexplicably-popular villain Carnage as he appears in the show…

If nothing else, will anyone who still hasn’t come to term with The 90s sucking please just take a moment and drink that trainwreck in, at long last?

20 thoughts on “Max Bialystock has done it again!

  1. Nick says:

    Dear Desk,

    Felicitations! It has been brought to my attention that our intimate acquaintance is about to be renewed. I look forward to our imminent reunion.


    (seriously, I love Julie Taymor, but WHAT. THE. HECK.)


  2. Christopher says:

    $60 million has been put into this schlock. What the high holy hell is wrong with these people. And Bob, while normally I think you have some high-strung beliefs when it comes to Hollywood and comic book properties; I do believe you have a valid point that is a con a la The Producers


  3. Dave says:

    And here I thought they were protective of costumes due to a debilitating terror of change or anything that wasn't invented before they emotionally peaked at 15.

    If you are really going to continue with these paranoid fantasies about vast conspiracies by every group you have an irrational dislike of, you really ought to invest in a blackboard, so your tranformation into the geek equivalent of glenn beck is complete.

    If you are going to insist on using the term spiderlight as though cramming two titles together is some bitingly clever satire and not a childish ruse, how about actually backing it up? You know, explain the reasons and though process behind it….
    Assuming the thought process was anything other than “If I make people think its like twilight, they will hate it just like I do.”


  4. jameshayes says:

    Bob, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I've come to “defend” you like a fanboy, but, I just have to.


    I can't say much about this post and the “conspiracy” theories, but I can say that, as a fellow reader, the tone came off less as something incredibly serious and more as deliberate, ironic speculation. And you've gotta be honest with yourself, he doesn't seem that far off.

    As for Spiderlight:

    Actually, yes, the Spider-Man “reboot” has been pitched as returning to high school and having a focus on teen romance and drama, with the addition of the comic book mythology, if you will. It's much like Twilight, where the focus seems to be teen drama with a side of watered down vampire lore.

    To add to this, Marc Webb is directing, who is most well-known for his work on music videos, and his last picture was 500 Days of Summer, a chick flick (albeit one I admit to having enjoyed, more or less).


  5. Dave says:

    @ James

    “returning to high school and having a focus on teen romance and drama”

    All of which were present in spiderman from the very beginning. The entire crux of the character was that he had normal teen problems, Relationships are a part of that. Hell, the Raimy films had that…they were just really bad at it. Hell they even had the same 2 guys fighting over one girl who is completely dependant on one of them thing going on.

    And its not like love triangles aren't a standard part of the superhero mythos. Superman has them, gargoyles did as well. Buffy was built on them and was all the more awesome because of it.

    What makes Twilight bad is the rampant misogyny and overall crumminess of the plot/acting. We have had NO indication of this in the new movie.

    “And you've gotta be honest with yourself, he doesn't seem that far off. “

    Not really sure what you are talking about here, but if you are implying that a vast conspiracy abounds to make spiderman as a whole look crappy to improve the odds of an as yet unfilmed reboot, then I'm going to say he's way off.

    As if they would even NEED to do that. The film has been getting a steady stream of good press. Outside of bob's more devout followers, they don't really NEED a better image.


  6. Lucas Neumann says:

    Gotta stay with Dave here (loved the Gleen Beck mention, spot on). This is really getting old Bob, and tiring.

    Yeah, yeah, we get it, you love what you love, and you hate what you hate, you're a geek at heart and all of that. But the Spiderlight thing is getting annoying and childish. Didn't like the costumes? fine, I liked, and if they can make Carnage work in the play, who cares if it came from the 90's. My “generation” (god I hate that word) is from the 90's and we like our symbiotes vilains :p Does our nostalgia means less than yours?

    It's alright if you have such an antipathy for the project, and you're not alone. But slamming your hate like this, and coming up with the oh so clever “Spiderlight” naming, and spamming it, just makes you sound like a whining fat geek, you know, the very type you make fun of every chance you get.


  7. Dave says:

    @ Lucas

    Its especially bad given that he'll respond to comments only until they start asking questions he can't answer, then he clams up. Hence why I ask him about the twilight thing. He should be overjoyed to give me evidence, as it would shore up his point…would it not?
    And his arguments are so incredibly inconsistent. A spiderman musical is stupid but spiderman jazz dancing in a non musical movie is cinematic brilliance and if you don't like it you are the intellectual equivalent of ogre from revenge of the nerds?

    Even his excuse of it being 'too soon' falls falt considering SM3 came out in 07, and the reboot (not remake as he insists on calling it. a film geek should know the difference) comes in 2012. That's 5 years between them.

    The James Bond series had only 4 years in between commercially successful successful but critically panned Die another day and Casino royale…which embraced an earlier approach, more down to earth and more grounded in the source material, eschewing the big names of the past for a cast composed mostly of character actors. Sound familiar?

    Remind me what happened with Bond? Oh yeah it was a criticla and commercial success beyond any of the franchise films of the past decade. Now obviously there is nearly 2 years for them to screw things up, look what is happening to the avengers, but as it stands, we've had pretty much nothing but good signs so far. The only reason to hate the movie is if you have a preexisting bias against it.


  8. Lucas Neumann says:

    Well man, I also grew up in the 90s… and they kinda sucked yes. Come on, Eddie Brock/Venon origin is lame as they come, the character got it's popularity because Mcfarlane was holding the pencil, and everybody in the 90s just loved the hell out of his comics (also Rob Lienfield, although now nobody admits it hahahaha)

    But the 80s sucked as well, so did the 70s, hell, people don't seem to realize we are living the dream now. It's a great time to be a “geek”, they are even paying them to bitch in the internet *wink wink*. It doesn't matter what era was the best and all that crap. Let's enjoy what we have now.

    And Dave, I think it's pointless to bring all that up dude. The man already made his judgment. I like Bob, otherwise I would waste my time watching his videos, and I pretty much agree with all he has to say, and it's fun, most of the time. But it seem he makes his arguments to fit his opinion, when it should be the other way around, isn't it? So I wouldn't bother if I were you man… Just take MovieBOB for the entertainment, and nothing else.
    But really Bob, give it a rest dude, you have until 2012 to bitch over Spiderman. Come on, you have nothing to say… about, I dunno, Green Hornet?

    And sorry for the double post, screwed up hehe


  9. Sophie says:

    Sorry…why is everybody complaining about bob… yeah, it may get old…but if old-bob-ranting gets us stuff as SICK as this … musicalamity… I´d take it any time. Now about THAT… first of all I´d love watching it..simply so I can come home and rant on how bad it was in detail…but 60 million bucks… and bono……… whatever happened to children starving in Africa?


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