Rated B For Brainy

It will surprise no one that I am exactly the sort of asshole film snob goes to “difficult” movies that he’s already seen to watch The Normals get frustrated and walk-out. But even I’M surprised at the level of audience-blowback that’s meeting “Tree of Life.” You’d think the title ALONE would set off the “artsy-fartsy” alarm in among even the dimmest bulbs of Michael Bay’s America.

Anyway, if you want to be in on what us asshole film snobs will be using to make ourselves feel superior THIS weekend; check out this sign found posted at the Stamford, CT Avon Theatre (posted right, click to embiggen) warning patrons that refunds will not be issued in the event of blown minds – keep in mind, this is a movie with NO real violence, sex or even much language; they are issuing a WARNING for a non-linear narrative.

I think my favorite part is the sheer level of “we’re fucking sick of idiots* bitching about this movie” condescension dripping from the language here. “Auteur?” Nobody who walks out of this particular movie knows or cares what that word is. You can just feel the reservoir of “are you people kidding me!!??” helpless rage boiling within whoever had to type this up. I hope they had to have a meeting about it, especially because you know there were one or two members of the management repeatedly going “see? See? I told you we shouldn’t have booked this – I didn’t get it at all!”

Ah, well. If Rome is gonna burn anyway, you may as well fiddle…

*No, I am not calling YOU an idiot, hypothetical-reader-who-takes-this-personally-for-some-reason. I completely understand people not “getting into” this particular movie, I just remember being in the position of whoever had to make this sign and frankly have never understood the rationality of people who try to get their money back because they didn’t like a movie they’ve already (partway) watched.

9 thoughts on “Rated B For Brainy

  1. The Mason says:

    I sat through an hour and 45 minutes of GL and the movie theater wasn't concerned that I would bitch about getting my money back for that thing, why are they suddenly so concerned with the “I don't like this movie because I don't get it” crowd?

    Are people really so fucking spoiled that they expect to get a refund for a movie they saw because they didn't “get it”?

    I mean, if theaters did that, they'd be out of business. Anybody could see a movie, complain and claim they didn't enjoy it (even if they did), get their money back, and have seen the movie for free.


  2. Enigma says:

    I'm all for this, pretentious dickwad that I am. The Tree of Life is pretty much my favorite movie of the year so far, and actually having the theater workers tell audiences to come in “with an open mind” is just brilliant to me, because that's exactly what this kind of film needs: An open mind.


  3. Chris Evans says:

    I haven't seen this film but I quite enjoyed Christopher Nolan's Momento and the original Boondock Saints. Is the move really over people heads or is it just an excuse?

    Side note, did FF7 make it impossible to name a movie Sephiroth?


  4. Adam says:

    @Chris Evans

    Nah. I'd wager most of your average theater goers don't know what the Sephiroth is (heck, half the time I forget the finer details of it) much less would think to connect it to a schizoid metrosexual with an oversized kitchen knife. Besides, I really don't want to give Sephy that much credit. ;P


  5. TheAlmightyNarf says:

    Yea, you've clearly never been to Stamford. If there were ever a town trying as hard as it could to fulfill the “pretentious upper-class” it would be Stamford… or West Hartford, but whatever. There was probably just some condescending dick working at that theater.


  6. Smashmatt202 says:

    Wait, people actually walked out of this film and complained because they didn't get it? My GOSH are people dumb!

    Granted, I probably won't get it if I saw it, but I'd at least sit through the whole thing.


  7. Elessar says:

    I live right near to the Avon and am a constant patron (to the point where I'm on a first name basis with…well the entire staff) and they're usually pretty good about being awesome.

    Hey bob, want another reason to like them? They do Cult Classics, every other week during the year and every week during the summer. Not DVD's hooked up to a projector. Original film prints. They've done everything from Big Trouble in Little China, to Hellraiser, to Full Metal Jacket, to 12 Monkeys, to Piranhas, to Robocop. This coming week? Running Man. The week after? Alligator.

    Yeah, they're awesome.


  8. eldricktobin says:

    I live in a perpetual state of having to disclaim whenever I actually like something such that I try to NOT recommend things. Also I tend to sort things differently than apparently a mess of the people I know. (Example Theater… when Dragonriders of Pern was pointed out to me by my mother -figuring I'd leap at it- the way she described it sounded like a Boris Vallejo painting with men and women wearing almost nothing fighting stuff on dragons. Heck I know people who if I described it would hate how I led them wrong… still like it… but be miffed as they consumed the books)

    All that being said. It seems almost bland to me. Maybe I need more italics and bold text to drive home the 'if you don't get it go beep yourself.'

    Which I almost told someone who -as I was moved to tears- said they did not get A.I. I would have wanted to say it with a cement block dropped from orbit precisely upon their noggin so … YMMV.


  9. Enigma says:

    I think this would be an interesting topic for a “Big Picture” episode. I'm really interested in what else you have to say about this because now that the movie is getting closer and closer to a wide release, more and more people are going to have this reaction…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s