Somebody Get Oroboros a Losenge..

Good news, producers of “Battleship”: your movie will soon no longer be everyone’s go-to example of are-you-fucking-kidding-me licensed-property adaptations. Lionsgate has given the go-ahead to a feature-length film based NOT on the video-game “Dead Island” …but on the trailer for the game.

For my non-gamer readers, “Dead Island” is basically every other fucking zombie game/movie ever, except this time it’s on a resort island and therefore toooooootally different. The main reason that it achieved s noteworthy level of anticipation was that it was initially advertised with a pretty remarkable trailer, seen here:

So… yeah, pretty cool short CGI zombie movie. Of course, those aren’t the in-game graphics. Or the main characters. And that bleak/sombre tone isn’t really replicated in the game. But you can see why it briefly became a viral-sensation. In any case, since the trailer is what drove the hype and got Hollywood interested in the first place, apparently the film will take it’s cues from IT as opposed to the game-proper.

For those keeping track: Mega Man, Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Castlevania, Kirby, Metal Gear, sonic etc? All still lacking (proper) movies. Dawn-of-The-Dead-but-in-a-different-place-and-interactive #1,698? Coming soon to a theater near you.

9 thoughts on “Somebody Get Oroboros a Losenge..

  1. Axle says:

    I still want to play the game from that teaser. I would also be up for a movie based on it. But that game wasn't made and I'm guessing the movie won't be made either.


  2. Elessar says:

    Of those, Metal Gear could make for a solid adaptation, Castlevania would be Van Helsing with changed names and while Metroid and Zelda COULD work, they'd need to go through the ringer to come out as workable scripts.

    Kirby and Sonic would be absolutely terrible films, Mario has already shown what would happen in film form (and yes another attempt would be similar). Not familiar enough with Mega Man to comment on him.

    How about adapting some games with real depth and character (hence why MGS, Zelda and Metroid COULD work, as they do have some depth and character)? Why not Portal? Bioshock? Half-Life? Assassin's Creed? Dragon Age? Mass Effect? What, because you didn't play them as a kid, they don't qualify for adaptation? 😉

    As for the news? If I get to see a movie based on that trailer, I don't care WHAT they have to call it. If the game had been ANYTHING like that trailer, we might have had something great on our hands.


  3. Gray says:

    I'm with Elessar, Kirby, Mega Man, Mario, Castelvania and even Portal all seem like they would make really bad movies. Or at least so it seems to me, how would you go about turning Kirby into anything other than a 20 minute children's' cartoon?

    That's not defending a Dead Island movie by the way, I get sleepy just at the thought of another zombie movie or zombie game (or zombie game movie)…


  4. Mads says:

    Gotta agree with elessar there bob.

    Your bias towards games you love is showing.

    Why is there no WoW movie? No diablo and no starcraft movies? No myst movie and no monkey island movie? No elder scrolls movie?

    Ah, it's pointless with you. You're never going to give pc games a shot, so nomatter how much litterature there is on what good titles it has, you're not going to give it credit.

    Anyway, are you saying that this trailer is going to get a proper movie? Because I bet this trailer will still be on your list of stuff that doesn't have a proper movie after the movie comes out.

    Well, if you'd ever wanted to include it in the first place.


  5. Aiddon says:


    Mega Man: Got a tv series in the 90s that was meh. Battle Network has gotten anime adaptations, but they're forgettable. The best would be the Day of Sigma OVA that was released with Mega Man X: Maverick Hunter for the PSP and all that did was establish backstory. Could work if you went Casshern with it (the 70s one, not the live action movie or the unreasonably dark 2000's series).

    Mario: Probably unfilmable; the subject is waaaaaaay too weird. Might work as a decent silent film short.

    Zelda: Might work better as a TV show in the same vein as Guin Saga or the classic Record of Lodoss OVA.

    Metroid: A lot more simple as it'd be Aliens except Samus kicking WAAAAAAAAAAY more ass than Ripley ever did. Still, I'd prefer a series in the vein of Captain Harlock or Space Adventure Cobra

    Castlevania: Maybe it'd work. Good like finding a guy pretty enough to play Alucard.

    Kirby: Probably better as a short film. Subject makes plotting difficult. Also had a bad anime awhile back.

    Metal Gear: Keep Kojima the HELL away from the script. MG is enough of a (badly written) film though, so I don't see the point.

    Sonic: Sonic SatAM was awesome

    A lot of these games have premises that make an actual plot difficult, so you'd have to rip their guts out. Zelda, Metroid, Castlevania and so on have stories long enough that making a tv series would be better.


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