"FLASH" To Become Terrible CW Show Before Dour, Portentous ‘Gritty’ Movie

A big-ish rumor (which I joked around about last week) coming out of the “Batman vs. Superman” SDCC announcement was that the “bridge” movie between Sad Building-Puncher Meets Broody Sulkington would be “The Flash;” which was curious and kind of terrifying since The Flash and his “world” are made almost-entirely out of the very things that the DC Movie team of Nolan, Goyer and (now, to my endless disappointment) Zack Snyder have committed to siphoning out before these things get to screen.

Well, it looks it’s going to take the long road in getting there: Warner Bros has announced that they’re putting the somehow still-kicking “Amazon” (aka “Wonder Woman in High School”) project on the back-burner in order to focus on a TV version of “Flash,” who’ll make his debut in a forthcoming episode of “Arrow”* before spinning-off into his own series…

The Flash actually makes a lot of sense for a TV series, in that he has a really easily-understood power-set, an origin story you can knock out in a minute and change (he’s a scientist futzing with some chemicals, he gets hit by lightning, now he can do things really really fast) and his day-job is a police-forensics scientist (before you ask, they already said they’re going with Barry Allen.) This might be why there already was a short-lived TV show back in the 90s, which was actually a lot of fun and feature Mark Hammill’s first DCU turn as The Trickster:

Part of me actually hopes this really is the route Warners goes to get to “Justice League” – building half the roster in shitty CW series, so that the movie is grumpy middle-aged Henry Cavill and Christian Bale being followed around by a  posse of interchangeable Twilight-bait boytoys in bad costumes (“Flash” will probably get just a reddish-brown tracksuit, right? To go with “Arrow’s” hoodie?)

Both this series and the still-apparently-happening movie (it’s not specified if they’ll be connected in any way – it wouldn’t surprise me if they weren’t because WB just. Does. Not. Care.) are happening under the supervision of Greg Berlanti, whose previous crimes include “Dawson’s Creek,” “Everwood,” “Green Lantern” and (naturally) “Arrow.”

*Please don’t bother trying to convince me that “Arrow” isn’t shit. Because “Arrow” is shit.

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