Here’s The Internet’s other great big ol’ nostalgia bomb for the week… but just wait till you see what I’ve got in store for next time 😉

Little sick of gaming-nostalgia mash-ups? Me too. But this? This is FUCKING BRILLIANT.

I love this.

You might recall that the first “G.I. Joe” movie was target of some trumped-up rage from the right-wing media for not being patriotic enough; because the team had gone international (it kinda always was, but don’t tell them that) and were fighting made-up terrorists instead of Al Qaeda (also as-always, and also don’t tell them that – “9/11 Changed EVERYTHING!” (TM) and it was apparently every action figure’s duty to make paranoid assholes feel better about themselves by face-punching Muslim-looking people onscreen.)

Well, those guys should probably start their engines once again…

Anyway, you might also recall that the film ended with the bad guys more-or-less winning: While the Joe’s were busy blowing up an ice fortress, Cobra Commander had not created… er, himself and Destro; he’d also managed to replace the President of the United States with master-of-diguise Zartan. Now, in the sequel, COBRA has effectively seized control of the American government (and military) and is using that position to threaten other nations. So… yeah, the premise of “G.I. Joe: Retaliation” is G.I. Joe – formerly America’s Reagan-era Exceptionalism Super-Squad – having to rescue the rest of planet from a renagade, war-mongering American military.

However good or bad this movie turns out to be… that – as the premise of a big-budget summer movie franchise that comes (literally) wrapped in the American flag – is pretty goddamn ballsy.

Now, to drive the point home, this new viral ad has hit the web: A near-perfect imitation of current U.S. Military recruitment ads (complete with what sounds like Keith David voiceover – you’d think his contract with the Army itself would specifically forbid stuff like this) …but for COBRA, one of the all-time notorious fictional terrorist organizations:

Look… I’m not exactly expecting this movie to be a “Starship Troopers”-level brutal satire or anything, but there’s a certain amount of risk in this, and risk deserves praise in this medium.

MAJOR POTENTIAL SPOILERS IN LINKS AND AFTER JUMP!

It’s been quite a ride for Latino Review, a NY-based movie news/gossip site originally set up to focus on stories related to Latino stars and projects that has in addition become a go-to site for comic-book movie scoops thanks to the alarmingly-excellent digging skills of one “El Mayimbe,” who claims to be acting (in part) out of a cheeky vendetta against Marvel Studios brass for pulling some shady business on a professional pal.

To date, probably their biggest scoop was breaking the subject of the post-credits teaser at the end of “Avengers” (and thus the principal over-arching antagonist of Marvel’s “Phase 2” projects) before anyone else; but now they’re claiming to have gone one bigger. Revealed tonight in a much-hyped video blog recorded in front of Marvel’s NY offices, “El Mayimbe” purports to know A.) Marvel’s long-term plans for an Avenger whose cinematic future hasn’t been made 100% clear yet, B.) A major plot detail for “Avengers 2” and C.) The actual premise of “Avengers 3.”

This should ALL be considered rumor, but highly reliable rumor (with the caveat that plans this long-term can always easily change) and thus possible MAJOR SPOILAGE. If you want to hear what the man has to say, hit the jump/keep reading. If not, turn back now:

http://cdn.springboard.gorillanation.com/mediaplayer/springboard/video/ltrv001/955/659401/

Last chance not to read any further folks (assuming you haven’t hit “play” yet)

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

/

So… Mark Ruffalo did sign the Marvel-standard six-movie deal, and the big arc of the plan is apparently to take him through Movieverse versions of PLANET HULK and WORLD WAR HULK.

Short version: “Planet Hulk” was a year-long story arc wherein Hulk was blasted into deep space “for his own good” (and everyone else’s) by The Illuminati, a secret brain-trust of powerful/connected Marvel denizens (Mr. Fantastic, Professor X, Namor, Black Bolt, Doctor Strange, Iron Man, etc) whom we come to learn are responsible for coordinating certain overly-coincidental big events throughout past Marvel continuity.

As the title implies, Hulk winds up on a semi-primitive planet where – for the first time – being an unstoppable giant monster is an asset; allowing him to become a sword-swinging, gladiator-fighting, army-leading, princess-wooing Conan-esque barbarian hero. “John Carter,” except with The Hulk. Awesome. Meanwhile, back down on Earth, tragic circumstances and some more Illuminati meddling cause the “Marvel Civil War” event to unfold, leaving everything pretty well fractured for when Hulk turns up on Earth looking for payback with an alien army under his command for “World War Hulk.”

Based on “El Mayimbe’s” info, it would appear that “Illuminati shoot Hulk into space” is either planned as the finale or post-finale of “Avengers 2,” with “Planet Hulk” presumably being a movie of it’s own in “Phase 3” and events similar to “World War Hulk” being the starting premise for “Avengers 3.”

Here’s the part of this that makes MAJOR sense to me: Assuming for a moment that the movie-verse version of The Illuminati aren’t just going to be the shadowy Council seen bossing S.H.I.E.L.D. around in “Avengers,” that would be a bunch of new guys all showing up at once, named or otherwise. In the comics, the membership of The Illuminati included Tony Stark, Black Bolt (of “The Inhumans”), Doctor Strange and Namor – with Black Panther invited but abstaining. What do all those guys have in common, apart from Iron Man? They’re all heavily rumored to have movies or movie-appearances happening as part of “Phase 2.” How do you top revealing one big character at the end of Part 1? Revealing the next FIVE big characters at the end of Part 2.

Hulk as the antagonist of the third “Avengers?” color me intrigued, sure… but what really interests me is what “Planet Hulk” would be as a live-action movie of it’s own (it was already turned into an above-average animated feature for DVD): In the comic, Hulk is in Hulk form for abut 95% of the story, and most of the alien characters are distinctly non-humanoid. Assuming they don’t change that up so that Ruffalo would have more screentime as Banner… would this end up being an almost entirely-CGI-animated feature a’a “Avatar?”

This will be worth watching, especially since Marvel will probably spend a week or so denying all of this.

I liked it.

New Intermission as well.

Presented without further unnecessary commentary, the trailer for “K-11” – an apparently sleaze-tastic thriller set in a segregated gay/transgendered California prison ward, written and directed by one Lynne Stewart, mother of Kristen:

The Hollywood Reporter – er… reports that director Duncan Jones, late of “Moon” and “Source Code” has landed the hypothetically coveted job of helming Legendary Pictures “Warcraft” movie; which is apparently still happening despite the property’s pop-culture ubiquity seeming to have peaked a couple of years ago.

In related news: Nerds? You are now out of excuses to have not already seen “Moon” and “Source Code.”

Good news for Jones, in any case, whose worked hard and definitely deserves the cache that’ll come from helming a likely-successful blockbuster; but forgive me if I’m not jumping over the moon. I’m just not really seeing what a “Warcraft” movie can realistically offer beyond being a “LOTR” riff with a more D&D-inspired aesthetic. Fodder to make a good movie, certainly (particularly with a great filmmaker onboard) but “Warcraft” is more beloved for its gameplay and depth/granulaity – not its story or even really its visuals.

Honestly? THIS is the franchise I’d like to see jump in front of the “ordinary person zapped into gameworld” bullet that you ONE game-adaptation is going to have to take at some point. Let’s get real: The ONLY reason “Warcraft” is worth spending $100 million+ on making a movie is because “WORLD OF Warcraft” blew up into a huge mainstream phenomenon – hence why that one “South Park” episode is probably the best narrative thing ever associated with the franchise – and it did so because of the “take a break from work/life and ADVENTURE!” aspect of the MMO. If your trying to put the “Warcraft Experience” onscreen… that’s kinda IT in my estimation.

So… I generally avoid using the Blog(s) for things like this, but wide nets need to be wide.

I’m looking to get in touch with people in the book-publishing business, specifically video-gaming related stuff but really at this level any inroad would be a good inroad; but there’s a pretty wide disconnect between the digital press world and the print world, so… don’t really have any idea how to do that.

BUT I’m betting I’ve got at least a few friends/followers/fans/colleagues reading these things who might have some tidbit of advice/direction/access to offer; so if that describes you please feel free to pop said info into the comments here (or, if you prefer, a way in which I could contact you to get it.) Any little bit helps, honestly 🙂

Thank you.

Head’s up: I’ll be introducing an evening (6:30pm EST) screening of “The Avengers” on Saturday (Feb. 2nd) at the Brattle Theater in Cambridge, MA. More details on the screening, part of The Brattle’s 2012 Best Of series, can be found on their website.

(UPDATE!) Also: I can also proudly announce that I’ll be a guest at SGC 2013, June 21 – 23 at the Hyatt Regency Dallas in Dallas, TX.

Here’s your obligatory “JJ Abrams is doing Star Wars now, too” episode – though I’m rather proud of how it turned out despite it’s own obligatory-ness…