Below, the trailer for “Anonymous” – Roland Emmerich’s first non-action-blockbuster movie since… well, ever. It’s a (mostly) period mystery, based on some of the (many) conspiracy theories claiming that Shakespeare didn’t actually author the works attributed to him. So… “The DaVinci Code” for English Lit professors. Looks pretty good – and I’m fascinated by the idea of Emmerich (who has a much stranger, devious sense of things than usually makes it into his movies) doing something so different – but what’s making me post it here today is the trailer’s final tagline, which is a thing of terrible beauty. Take a look…

“We’ve All Been Played.”

Fucking. Brilliant.

Glenn Beck and Fox News will “transition” his nightly TV show off the air later this year; a move that is expected to leave a gaping hole in the evening viewing schedules of the ignorant, the hyperreligious, the clinically-paranoid and Rachel Maddow’s research staff. (Seriously – MSNBC is going to be like Patton without a Rommell now…)

To my Conservative readers: Don’t be scared. I know being on your own can be scary at first, but Glenn helped you to grow up big and strong. No, it won’t be exactly the same without him; but even though Glenn is gone Obama’s intimidating complexion and suspiciously foriegn-sounding name will be as scaaaary as ever – just wait and see! It’s the natural order of things that, when you’re ready, it’s time to leave the nest, spread your wings and fly free… in time, if you learned your lessons well, you’ll settle down and develop irrational, paranoid delusions of your very own.

To my Liberal readers: Congratulations, guys! Now get on down to the Whole Foods and stock up on exotic cheese and fair-trade olives for your last-episode-watching party! I’ll bring the Moscato if you bring the sprouts…

To my incidentally-political College-attending readers: Today’s the day, bro! Go call up that hot activist chick from your Sociology class so you can “celebrate” you guys doing YOUR part to bring this about – like all those links to his radio show you sent to Media Matters, which totally must’ve helped put this over the edge 😉

This week, a look back at the FIRST live-action “Street Fighter” movie – no, not the one you’re thinking of.

http://cdn2.themis-media.com/media/global/movies/player/flowplayer.commercial-3.2.5.swf

It’s monday. Nothing’s happening. A snarky reply I was dropping on a “Gawker” thread about tomorrow’s expected reveal of a GOP proposal to, yes, privatize Medicare (i.e. why would conservatives want to piss off, of all people, senior citizens?) turned into a mini-essay, so I figure what the hell – might as well repost it here. Also, I like the irony of it running in-tandem with the ads for the awful-looking “Atlus Shrugged” movie Google keeps putting on the site… 😉

Actual text after the jump, those not wanting to hear/read political stuff advised not to bother:

“Sadly, it’s quite the opposite – this is the GOP’s version of (irony!) long-term political insurance.

The ONLY play they have to remain politically relevant into the next decade is this VERY narrow window of space in-between Generation X/Y’ers earning grownup-sized paychecks and not yet having older-grownup-sized health costs; when “WHY SHOULD I BE PAYING FOR SOME OLD PEOPLE’S MEDS!!??” actually sounds like a sensible political position. This is also why you’re seeing the old “welfare queen” stereotypes conflating race/gender with entitlement programs rearing their head once again – it’s ALL about rebranding The Party to appeal to white suburban douchebags with MBA’s burning a hole in their pocket who probably don’t give a shit about gay marriage or abortion but are FLABBERGASTED as to why they have to get “SCREWED out of a job by Affirmative Action!!!” when “everyone knows” racism is totally over because they “never owned a slave or nothing!” 😉

(NOTE: this is a straight-ahead shout-out, NOT an advertisement – no one has “asked” me to reccomend this site, no compensation has changed hands, etc.)

Most people on the indie/amateur movie circuit probably already know about Detonation Films, but in case you’re in that group and you don’t know them you really need to: Basically a whole site of professional-grade stock footage for explosions, fire, debris, bullet-hits, flares, etc. shot against key-ready greenscreen, bluescreen or oldschool black; most of sold for VERY reasonable prices and a TON of good stuff that’s straight-up FREE for download.

Pretty much all the fire/explosion FX you’ve seen in the recent “OverThinker” videos came from their freebie stock, as it happens, so I figured I owed them a shout-out: Keep an eye on this site, it’s a GREAT resource.

If American audiences know Hyung Rae-Shim at all, it’s as the guy behind the wonderfully-awful “Dragon Wars;” but he has a HUGE following in his native Korea for his prior career as a popular comic actor – he’d done dozens of films, almost always as a variation on a slapstick character named “Yonguu” (spelling varies.) Now, he’s brought the Yonguu person to English-language features; this time as the hitherto-unknown Korean son of a New York mafia don (Harvey Keitel!) in “The Last Godfather.”

Yes, they’re really selling it on the pitch of “The Director of Dragon Wars.” Awesome.

An abridged cut of the “Green Lantern” footage that went over BIG yesterday at Wondercon has hit the web:

Alright, I’m A LOT closer to “sold” now.

No, it doesn’t “solve” all of the issues people were having with this – Reynolds still seems a little A.) young and B.) “flip” to be playing Hal Jordan, and the while the suit keeps looking better the mask still looks out of place and cheesy (notice Tomar-Re, aka “ChickenFish-Man,” handwaving an excuse for him to not wear it most of the time.) But for the most part… yeah, this is looking MUCH more promising now, at least visually.

If nothing else, GL fans have to dig seeing that massive gathering of wacky aliens in their matching uniforms (shots like all the business on Oa here I sort of what I was hoping to get in the “Trek” reboot, actually…); and I stand by my affection for how retro-scifi the stuff with the inflated-brain mad scientist and the giant monster (Parallax?) tearing up Coast City looks.

The early trailers were underwhelming because (supposedly) more than HALF of the film is “animated” to one degree or another, and all they initially had to work with were mostly Earthbound scenes; giving the impression of nothing so much as “Younger Iron Man Goes To Space.” THIS, on the other hand, shows off the bigger-picture: That it’s a huge, cosmic, outer-space scifi epic – “Star Wars,” but with a superhero angle.

So… why haven’t you heard all that much about it, if at all? Well…

…Here’s the basic plot outline: It’s a mash-up of ancient Greek mythology – primarily Theseus (the guy who killed The Minotaur) and The Titanomachy, i.e. the pre-humanity war between the Olympian Gods and their predecessors, The Titans. In this variation, in addition to slaying man-bulls, Theseus is tasked by Zeus etc. to lead your basic D&D campaign team (Frieda Pinto as a priestess, Stephen Dorf as a slave) to find a Magic MacGuffin before the Titan leader Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) can use it to set his imprisoned brothers free.

In other words: It sounds A LOT like the remake of “Clash of The Titans” – which everyone saw but nobody was really over-the-moon about. So, it was probably for the best that they’ve held back on the media-blitz until right about now: A set of posters hit Fandango tonight, and tommorrow it’s having a big “debut” panel at Wondercon; so a trailer will likely soon be in the offing. Until then, here’s the trailer to “The Fall” – which you should really check out.

…but, in all seriousness, go see “Insidious.” Not perfect, but REALLY impressive for something shot for only $800,000. Plus, it’s heart is in the right place and it’s proof that gore-free PG-13 horror doesn’t have to be budgetary crutch – if nothing else, it’s a PERFECT “scary-movie” that you could probably take kids to (I’d say 10 and up, your mileage may vary.)

FWIW, it’s basically a Haunted House movie where the “house” part is kind-of incidental – Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne are a couple whose son’s coma has turned him into some kind of ghost-attracting antenna; so they can’t just pick up and leave to solve the problem.

Storywise, if you’ve seen a ghosts-in-the-house movie, particularly “Poltergeist,” you know where this is going, but the fun (for me anyway) is in the execution. James Wan and Leigh Wannell remind us WHY the original “Saw” was so effective in early “spooky noises” sections, but when it’s time to make with the ghosts they also let slip a surprising sentimentality for ultra-oldschool “kiddie” spook-house imagery – the 3rd act looks like an attempt to adapt a local High School’s annual charity “Haunted House” into a movie. That’s probably going to be the “checking out” point for a lot of people, but I dug it.

http://cdn2.themis-media.com/media/global/movies/player/flowplayer.commercial-3.2.5.swf

Intermission: “Captain America” trailer breakdown.