Whatever. British actor Andrew Garfield, best (only?) known to moviegoers as Anton in “The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus,” is Sony and director Marc Webb’s choice to play the hip, happenin’ new Peter Parker in their fast-tracked, quick-n-cheap reboot of “Spider-Man.” For those who haven’t been keeping track, the new film will rewind the story back to High School and rework it into a “Twilight”-style teen romance soap.
This is unfortunate, since Garfield has struck me as a pretty good actor so far – in other words, not deserving of being associated with this pending atrocity – but also somewhat depressingly-funny in at least one sense: On the “celebrity scene,” Garfield was at one point best known for being frequently mistaken for another actor…
…named Robert Pattinson.
In other news, it continues to be sincerely hoped that everyone for whom Tobey Maguire doing a silly dance for about a minute in “Spider-Man 3” was the worst thing that ever happened in the history of anything!!!!! continues to be really, really thrilled.