"Justice" Is Coming (UPDATED)

hat-tip: io9 and Bleeding Cool

How utterly, perversely, delightfully, horrifyingly-wonderfully appropriate is it that – a mere day after it was re-affirmed that “Green Lantern” would be holding fast to Warner Bros. resolute continuity-phobia by deleting a planned Superman cameo – we now have visual evidence of… this?

Yes, “Justice League: A Hardcore Parody.” Not a hoax. Not a dream. Not an imaginary story. Possibly NSFW pics and further observations after the jump…

Two things – okay, two other things – jump out at me immediately about this:

Firstly, the obvious: Because WB/DC simply doesn’t have the balls (sorry) and/or vision for it, this will now go down (sorry) as by-default the BEST live-action movie version of “Justice League” ever. Seriously, mark it: The first time we’ll have ever seen Superman, Batman, Robin, Flash, Aquaman, Green Lantern and Wonder Woman chilling in the Hall of Justice (Watchtower?) in live-action is in a porno spoof. Hell, also by default: “Wonder Woman’s” outfit (anybody recognize the performer?) is now the best live-action version of itself, too.

Second: The most surprising thing, for me, is that it’s being billed as a “Justice League” spoof rather than a “SuperFriends” spoof. Is that officially the way the “mainstream” knows this arrangement of characters now. Again, memo to WB/DC: This franchise is well-known enough that they’re making major-market porn of it – pull the damn trigger already.

Third… yeah, I’ve gotta say it: The lack of at least one more female character here is kind of a letdown, no? (see update) Obviously, there’ll be more “too” this than what appears to be this one bit (it looks like a relatively expensive production, and those are usually longish – sorry) but still; “straight” porn without any girl/girl is like pizza without crust. Hell, this is probably the ONLY genre where it wouldn’t be difficult to cast Power Girl…


Earlier report, also from Bleeding Cool, has the cast list. I won’t post the whole thing, but suffice it to say it’s something of an “all-star cast” if you follow the industry – or, rather, have a familiarity with the myriad entries in the “cheeky sex industry documentary” subgenre of HBO etc. productions. That’s Evan Stone (late of the “accidental football broadcast” scandal) in the Batman getup, for example.

Also onhand but not (yet) pictured: Jenna Presley as Lois Lane, Amber Rayne as Harley Quinn (not the live-action debut of the character, thanks to the “Birds of Prey” show), Tommy Gunn as “The General” and, yes, RON JEREMY (!) as THE PENGUIN (!!!) Catwoman and Zatanna round out the female cast.

This may end up being hysterical. The weak-ass title needs to go, though – or maybe it needs a subtitle… “Crisis on Intimate Earths?” “DP One Million?” “52… +17?” “Kingdom Come?” Anyone else got any?

8 thoughts on “"Justice" Is Coming (UPDATED)

  1. Drunken Lemur says:

    Don't worry, Catwoman and Zatana have already been cast. Also, the guys behind this Plan on doing one for the Avengers next. When did this happen, anyway? When did Superheroes become so popular to mine for porn? It's crazy and I love it.


  2. Dave says:

    Ironic in that this movie's wonder woman will probably have far less in the way of lesbian subtext and bondage imagery.

    Also, to those asking why movies don't use comic accurate costume: this is exactly why. They look terrible. It says a lot that the least ridiculous looking one is aquaman.


  3. M says:

    If Ron as the Penguin is funny be sure to check him out in his role as a wise beach sage who owns the coolest hotdog stand on the sand and dispenses love advice tot he young in the new movie “Beaches, Buns and Bikinis!”


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