"Vamps"

I keep wanting to make the usual joke about whose blood Alicia Silverstone has been bathing in to still look exactly like she did over a decade ago today, and then I remember she actually is playing a vampire in this movie… which I can’t make up my mind about: Does this look terrible or weirdly good?

13 thoughts on “"Vamps"

  1. Ronin08 says:

    W-why does this look like it was shot on a webcam? (30/60fps, just to clarify, I'm actually not entirely sure). Malcolm Macdowell and Wallace Shawn look weird as hell at this speed.

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  2. Anonymous says:

    Put me down for “terrible”. Credit where it's due, though – they did take the whole “vampires trying to keep with contemporary society” idea in an interesting direction. And at least these vamps don't sparkle.

    While we're on the subject of vampires, when the hell is somebody going to snap up the movie rights to Vampire: The Masquerade? Now that is one vampire movie I want to see.

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  3. Joe says:

    That's a hell of a cast. Sigourney? McDowell? Richard Lewis? Wallace Shawn? Inconceivable! Even though I'm pretty much sick of vampires again, this might not be too bad.

    While we're on the subject of vampires, when the hell is somebody going to snap up the movie rights to Vampire: The Masquerade? Now that is one vampire movie I want to see.

    Won't happen. There was already the poorly-received Aaron Spelling TV version Kindred: the Embraced back in mid 90s. And its Anne-Rice-meets-The-Lost-Boys-meets-The-Crow aesthetic has already been pilfered by the Blade and Underworld movies (White Wolf sued Sony over the latter and won a settlement). At this point, the only thing in the can is the CCP MMO, and by the time that thing's finished, vampires will be over in the mass media.

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  4. Sarah Montgomery says:

    Good God, this is a parody of a parody of modern vampire flicks. The sixteenth minute variety. If it succeeds in killing off the genre for another twenty or fifteen (let's be honest, ten at the most) years, then hooray for them. But this already feels like it's just beating up on long-tired tropes. I can't say I'm even remotely optimistic about this movie or any effect it almost certainly won't have on the industry. I'll just file it under “try to forget about”.

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  5. Sarah Montgomery says:

    Good God, this is a parody of a parody of modern vampire flicks. The sixteenth minute variety. If it succeeds in killing off the genre for another twenty or fifteen (let's be honest, ten at the most) years, then hooray for them. But this already feels like it's just beating up on long-tired tropes. I can't say I'm even remotely optimistic about this movie or any effect it almost certainly won't have on the industry. I'll just file it under “try to forget about”.

    (EDIT: apologies if this is a double-post, but the comment system thingee is giving me fits)

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  6. biomechanical923 says:

    I agree with Sarah 100%
    It's a parody of a parody, making fun of something that's deader than dead (no pun intended).

    Sometimes jokes can be in bad tastes simply because they're so late to the party.
    What's next? Making fun of O.J. Simpson and Bill Clinton?

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  7. Chris Cesarano says:

    I'll confess, making the vampires like…actually I don't know if I can say “normal girls”. I work at a major shopping network where most of my co-workers are women that spend a considerable amount of their paycheck on fashion items, and none of them have the bubble headedness the women in that trailer seem to have.

    So vampires betrayed as how someone THINKS actual women are like? I don't know, but it's interesting to see that sort of take at least. Reminds me of after Harmony became a vampire in Buffy/Angel, even though she was also ignorant/stupid to an insultingly comedic extent as well.

    Meh. I just can't be bothered.

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  8. Team Charlie says:

    The only way this movie will work is if everyone takes the project completely seriously.

    Granted that that's impossible, I'll probably still see it because I love Amy Heckerling even though it will almost undoubtedly be awful.

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