So not metal.
BONUS! “Intermission” is a review of “That’s My Boy.”

Hey, do you feel like sleeping tonight? No? Good. Here’s the trailer for “Sinister.”

It’s been a long week, okay?

I have a soft spot of cheesy 50s/60s sitcoms, which definitely includes “Bewitched,” but I don’t know that I’d ever seen THIS episode before; which features the Stevens Family encountering a Christmastime houseguest/potential business-associate of Darrins who turns out to be a racist. It must have been pretty eyebrow-raising to even hear the WORD racist on a sitcom back then, alongside the bonus of one a rare instance of Samantha using her powers to “get” somebody (that was usually more of an Endora or Serena thing) – in this case zapping the bigot so that he sees everyone around him as black… and yes, the effect is accomplished by putting the “regular” white cast in tan makeup:

Yeah. The blackface is HILLARIOUSLY terrible. But Sam’s final pre-commercial break zinger? How the HELL did that make it to air on network TV at that time?

Note: I just wanted to publically thank Justin Clouse at The Escapist, who jumped in and helped finish this episode (re: assembling all of the audio/video files into a cohesive finished product) when my equipment went to shit with very little notice and only my own “unique” interpretation of editing-“plans” to work from. Guy did a bang-up job, in my estimation, and I’m just incredibly sincerely thankful.

Anyway! SPOILER WARNING on “Prometheus.”

Intermission responds to Sasha Stone re: The Avengers and The Oscars.

The trailer for The CW’s Green Arrow show “Arrow” (Green is apparently boxoffice-poison for Warners now) looks pretty awful – a textbook example of the Nolan-esque “realistic superhero” aesthetic in the wrong hands. Actually looks bad enough to be a parody of bad superhero adaptations, which is impressive considering “Smallville” stayed on the air for a decade.

One thing managed to catch my eye, though: Does this mask belong to who I think it belongs to?

So. It looks very much like Slade Wilson – aka Deathstroke The Terminator – one of the most iconic antagonists in the DC Comics canon… will be making his live-action debut in a series that looks SO BAD that this trailer contains the stuff they think will make you watch it:

Super. Think they’ll be clever enough to try and get Ron Perlman (Slade/Deathstroke’s voice from the “Teen Titans” series) to do the part – or maybe just the voice?

UPDATE: I’m leaving the original block-of-angry (which, just for perspective, was typed out on a phone while I waited to smother my angst in cheeseburger and beer) up after the jump for posterity/integrity’s sake, but I think I should clarify a few things:

1. I see people are hitting up the Tip Jar. While I deeply, deeply appreciate that – I want to be crystal-clear that I didn’t put this up looking for sympathy/charity in that regard. Those who chose to do so, thank you very, very much… but I don’t rage-post actively seeking that.

2. The screening I missed was not for a movie I wanted to see… well, okay, to be fair I do want to see it, but that’s not why missing it twice made my shit list. It’s a movie I have to see to review it for the show, and missing these two opportunities puts my ability to do my job in this instance in a certain amount of jeopardy. Movie critics don’t get to choose when they see movies – studio publicists contact us with a place/date where pre-screenings will be held, we have to show up, and if for whatever reason we are prevented from getting there 9 times out of 10 the critic is out of luck. Fortunately, in this case these will be at least one more opportunity (it’s a big movie, no it isn’t Batman) but if that weren’t the case I would be looking at being unable to fulfill a professional obligation to my employer because of two consecutive traffic issues.

I am not someone who believes in either karma or any other kind of universal balance. The universe is not balanced. The universe runs on random, heartless chance through which Natural Selection occurs. Times like these, however, make me want to reconsider that belief (or lack thereof.) Here’s what my last two days have been: FINALLY put a deposit on my first solo apartment after months of awful real-estate shopping. Good thing. Then, to “balance” it out? Boston traffic caused me to miss a screening. Next day: computer (the one on which ALL my work is done) decides to freak out – either a virus, software failure, burned-out board or all three. Repair bill on that? Don’t ask – more than I want to be spending in the midst of trying to put a move together. After that, a second chance at the film (no I can’t tell you which one) I missed at a screening an HOUR away out in the fucking sticks… which I have now managed to miss AGAIN because everyone and their mistress is trying to get into or out of Boston tonight and 93 was bumper-to-bumper all the way to fucking Dedham. So, yeah. This shit, on top of all the other rotten shit to deal with already? Fuck this universe. And if there IS some higher intelligence “in charge” of all this? Fuck IT; too.

Below, the trailer (in shitty Fandango-exclusive quality, sorry) for Quentin Tarantino’s “Django Unchained;” which stars Jamie Foxx as a pre-Civil War slave who teams with a bounty hunter (Christophe Waltz) to hunt down and kill his former masters and free his still-enslaved wife. And in case any doubt was left as to whether or not Tarantino has just lobbed a slavery-revenge pop-culture cluster-bomb into one of the most racially-divisive periods (i.e. NOW) in recent American history; one of the money-shots is blood splattering all over a fluffy field of cotton. Sez Django: “Kill white folks and get paid to do it? What’s not to like?”

Ooooh… this is gonna be fun to watch – and the movie, too, most likely…

http://www.fandango.com/fplayer/player.aspx?mid=145508&mpsguid=2242676575&dm=3&genre=Action/Adventure,Drama,&rt=&title=Exclusive:_Django_Unchained_-_Trailer_Premiere&w=620&h=349&emb=user

UPDATED WITH SCREENSHOT!

“Wreck-It Ralph” was already on my most-anticipated movies of the year list. At 1:09 of this trailer, it became #1. I won’t be more psyched for a movie this year…

I’m actually kind of amazed Nintendo signed-off on what looks like a couple of cameos – aren’t they supposed to be REALLY hard to work with on that stuff?

UPDATED! Here’s a high-res screengrab: Look at them! Look at them all! Holy shit – that’s the final Rhino Boss guy from “Altered Beast!” And a fucking BEHOLDER!!??

I try not to cross-post the blogs too much, but it’s kind of bugging me that the most recent TGO is getting somewhat “buried” coming out in the midst of E3 so I feel justified in giving it some space here, too.

For some reason I can’t embed this one right now, but those interested can see EPISODE 71: EULOGii on ScrewAttack by clicking the links in this post.