…are of Chris Evans’ burly stunt-double on a motorcycle:

So… not exactly the approved-n-retouched “official” reveal Marvel Films would’ve preferred. For you young whippersnappers out there, this is pretty-much what ALL first-looks at genre projects looked like back in the days when the studios hadn’t yet learned how to micro-manage their own “leaks.”

But, yeah, it’s a “meant-to-take-a-pounding” version of the outfit on a guy who’s not “playing” the part, so don’t look to be blown away. The important stuff is in the details: It’s roughly the design we’ve already seen, but (apparently) at least partially comprised of fabric rather than spandex-armor (which, of course, didn’t exist in WWII) they eye and chin pieces are black, he has the FUCKING WINGS ON HIS HELMET FUCK YEAH!!!, the shield looks perfect, etc. Supposedly he starts his “career” in a USO “Mascot” costume modeled on the Golden Age comic outfit, then builds his own combat-ready version by repurposing (dyeing?) standard army gear, which is basically the idea here.

Okay, pretty cool in-context. Y’wanna see pretty cool in ANY context? Hit the jump (because while this has been “out there” for a little while I don’t want anyone complaining about quasi-spoilers…)

From the same site, here’s a pair of (presumably) bad-guy bikers (so they’re filming a chase scene?)

Dig the retro-futuristic design, right? But why would the Nazis have high-tech super-bikers? Well, look at this 360% ZOOM:

A skull with tentacles: The seal of HYDRA.

In the Marvel Universe, HYDRA is basically 007’s “SPECTER.” In traditional Marvel continuity, they start out as an adjunct of The Third Reich in WWII (though their supposedly as old as Ancient Egypt, like everything else in genre-fiction) transitioning into a fascist high-tech terrorist outfit in the “present,” frequently involved-with or even run-by various life-extended or “legacy” onetime Nazis like Baron Zemo, Baron Von Strucker, Arnim Zola and The Red Skull – at least two of whom are already supposed to turn up in “Captain America” already. You know, the sort of thing you’d need a whole team of superheroes to fight. Hm…

For those keeping track, this puts the list of significant Marvel Universe “continuity nuggets” confirmed to be part of this movie as follows: Howling Commandos, The Invaders, Bucky Barnes, Peggy Carter, Armin Zola, HYDRA, Yggdrasil/Asgard & The Cosmic Cube.

This is really happening.

German filmmaker Uwe Boll gained fame making really, really bad movies out of video games, openly-antagonizing internet movie writers who hated them, challenging his critics to boxing matches and opening the action/comedy “Postal” with a slapstick-comedy restaging of 9-11. Really.

When that well dried up, he moved on to making “straight” horror/action films and questionable-taste dramas built around hot-button political issues; notably “Darfur” (that was actually the title) and “Rampage” – a kind of rural, youth-oriented “Falling Down” about a small-town loner on a day-long killing spree. At least one thing is clear: The man understands the importance of a “hook” for selling low-budget movies.

For what it’s worth, “Rampage” was kind of a revalation for me: Well directed, well written (he also scripted) and possessed of a genuinely keen undestanding for the unique nihilism of a theoretical Middle American sociopath. It’s his best film, by far, and if ANYONE else had released the same product it would’ve been recieved as one of the better indies of that year. If nothing else, it means that it’s impossible to simply dismiss him as a resourceful hack – the man has actual talent. Which is kind of too bad, because I get the sense that most would prefer and excuse to dismiss or otherwise not acknowledge what is apparently his next “big” project.

“Auschwitz.” Seriously. (NSWF trailer and more after the break…

http://ictv-tf-ec.indieclicktv.com/player/embed/97b1fda2ca43d6c29eaf63ed1ec347c6/4c851e57ebc98/31/0/defaultPlayer-player.swf
Hat-tip to Chud and Twitch…

For those unfamiliar, that’s Boll himself in the Guard uniform.

Someone was eventually going to make a “torture/gore-FX-showcase” shocker out of The Holocaust, which is what this looks like – and it’s definitely interesting to see it coming from Germany of all places – but still… yikes.

According to the AP, Bosnian police have tracked down the videotaped puppy-murderer; another apparent feather in the cap for Evil Internet Lynch-Mob turned, er… uh… Good Internet Lynch-Mob 4Chan.

Questions remaining: Who get’s Michael Bay’s $50,000 reward, and do the Bosnia police understand that 4Chan etc. probably won’t stop gunning for this kid until they see more retribution than a fine?

http://cdn2.themis-media.com/media/global/movies/player/flowplayer.commercial-3.1.5.swf
The BACKLASH on this is going to be epic if it’s a hit…

Intermission: “Machete Vs. The Expendables.”

…when the Bad Guys become the Good Guys.

I’m not putting a link up to it, but by now you’ve probably at least heard about the “puppy tossing” video that’s been all over the place. If not, to summarize: A young-ish looking blonde woman in what has apparently been identified as Bosnia is seen throwing a bucketful of newborn-looking live puppies into a river. Overhand, one at a time, with great force and having a big “wheeee!” laugh over it. Just… awful, awful stuff.

Anyway, no one knows precisely who she is (or who shot/uploaded the video) but that won’t last – she’s currently being “hunted down” by a worldwide network from users of the infamous message board 4Chan. You may recall that earlier in the month 4Chan turned it’s hivemind-esque detective skills toward running down an attempted cat-killer, also caught-on-tape, in the UK… and succeeded – the woman in question was essentially harrassed straight into protective-custody.

Watching 4Chan transition from self-described “internet hate machine” to animal rights do-gooders has been… surreal, to say the least – it’s like if S.P.E.C.T.E.R. suddenly turned their attention from World Conquest to World Hunger – especially because the methodology is so consistent: What’s the difference between being a “civic-minded hero” and a “bully?” The choice of target. But, hey, they’re gettin’ the job done, after a fashion; and at least until the fun of being treated like cyber-superheroes wears off and they revert back to formula I’m not too uncomfortable with the idea of 4Chan as a force for good.

What’s LESS easy to wrap my head around are feelings of respect – or, at least, non-hatred – for Michael Bay, who according to the DailyMail has ALSO joined this particular fight, offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the puppy-flinger’s indentification.

So… now I have to like 4Chan and the director of “The Island?” Stupid human-capacity-for-redemption…

All kidding aside, I’ve actually heard quite a bit that Bay’s redeeming feature is that he’s a BIG animal lover and supporter of animal charities – he’s supposed to have given his Bar Mitzvah money away to California animal shelters as a kid.

Well, alright. Fine. Michael, I guess you’re a decent guy after all. Everything but “Bad Boys 2” is still terrible, though 😉

EDIT: Before anyone brings it up… NO, I don’t in fact think it’s at all “interesting,” sad or somehow wrong to be more worked-up about stuff like this than it is about the people starving in Darfur or wherever the mass-suffering region du-jour is right now.

UPDATE: Apparently, they got her. 4Chan bags another one.

http://cdn2.themis-media.com/media/global/movies/player/flowplayer.commercial-3.1.5.swf
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/extra-credits/1961-Free-Speech

Question: Did the word “hipster” EVER have an actual definition in modern (re: last-ten-years-or-so) slang parlance? Or has it always been solely a way for nerds to call other nerds nerds?

http://cdn2.themis-media.com/media/global/movies/player/flowplayer.commercial-3.1.5.swf
And, yes, we talk a little more about “The Expendables.”

“Intermission” is a recap of Neil Marshall’s movies, and some choice quotes from my interview with him and his wife, actress Axelle Carolyn.

(I’ve had no home web access for about two days, so sorry if this isn’t “news” news to you.)

Remember that little speculation I engaged in on Wednesday regarding whether or not Kevin Bacon was playing “the” Sebastian Shaw in Matthew Vaughn/Brian Singer’s “X-Men: First Class?” Well, according to Harry Knowles – apparently based on a phone conversation with Singer – he is… and that’s not all. From the sound of it (and, yes, AICN so take it with the usual healthy skepticism) Vaughn is being allowed (for now) to make the exact opposite of what one would expect from a Fox-backed comic property.

Go read the whole AICN piece, but the “bullet points” are as follows:

We’ll see Professor X and Magneto meet and form the original X-Men.

Film is set in the Kennedy-era 1960s (making this the first Marvel movie to “line up” with the actual era in which the material was written!)

Bacon IS playing Shaw, and “The Hellfire Club” ARE the bad guys.

“The costumes will be far more comic-bookish than we’ve seen before.” One imagines this means the X-Men will be wearing something like their yellow and black/blue Silver Age uniforms, one hopes this extends to certain members of the Hellfire Club as well…

It IS apparently still a “prequel” to the other X-movies; so no Cyclops, Jean Grey, etc. as they’re too young in their films to have been around for this. Probably no Wolverine either, (though if there’s ONE thing Fox would probably force on them as a condition that’d easily be it.)

Hm…

…PLEASE don’t let most of this be bullshit 😉

I mean, I’d happily settle for just a 90-minute text-crawl repeating “sorry about X-Men 3;” but this sounds really, REALLY promising.

Cable/web is down at home, so I’m doing this on the road. Happened upon the magical “we have wifi” sign at a small “artisanal market”/cafe type joint called “Coven” here in Salem, MA – where, already, it looks like a lot of y’all tourists are ALREADY descending, so have fun 😉

Anyway, check out what they got in this place:

Yeah, that’s a “buffet”-type setup of BREAKFAST CEREALS (real ones.) The idea is you buy a bowl and then fill it up however. I’ve heard of places doing this, never seen one in the wild – AWESOME. Rest of the stuff ain’t bad either – “nostaglia-kitsch” kinda atmosphere goin’ on, lots of local /natural foodstuffs, board games and such on the tables, and what seems to be a good list of beer and wine. So glad I wandered in here. Place is on Essex St. in Salem, in case anyone currently-local is looking at this and it strikes yer fancy.

EDIT: just now actually looked at the menu. Sample of nicknamed items from the sandwich menu: “The Fraggle Rock,” “The He-Man,” “The Super Mario Brothers” (meatball panini), “The Truffle Shuffle.” What a find. I like these guys.